The Smelker Seven

Dinner Dilemma

Remember the halcyon days of our youth, where our parents used to plunk a plate of food at the table and we had a choice - either eat it or go hungry? Perhaps if you're under the age of 35 you might not have those great memories! Seems like many families today, parents and kids alike, are such fussy eaters that they now eat a diet of pizza, hotdogs, pre-packaged family TV dinners, chips, salsa, cookies and ice cream. Is it any wonder then that a program like Honey We’re Killing the Kids became an instant 'water cooler' topic the moment it hit airwaves in the UK and the USA. The Joy of Tech website even took a swat at the issue with a comic strip where a group of overweight kids tease the skinny kid for not being fat.


I know with the pressures of work and family commitments, and the running the kids a million different places it becomes hard to always prepare a fresh meal every night - but my own mother is a shining example of someone who worked a full day job and still managed to make from-scratch meals every night. Dining out was a rare treat. She also kept no 'junk' in the house, but we always had an endless supply of fresh fruit and vegetables to munch on. And in the days when she cooked, the microwave was a new invention. So what's my excuse?

Five years ago, when our children were 13, 7, 5, 4 and 3, Terry and I did something that I have never regretted, and is something I am often asked to speak to other families about. We created a family of non-fussy eaters. Our oldest son, Warrick does not know the meaning of the word fussy, and was a fantastic eater. My girls followed, and were introduced to a variety of foods at a young age, and have been pretty good about food.

But then along came child #4. As a baby he was all right, and didn’t spit too many things out. As he got older and was able to verbalise, he certainly made me aware that he was not too impressed with the family dinners! If I served pizza (rare occurrence), he was thrilled and hot dogs (maybe served once or twice a year) were heralded with crows of delight; BUT if anything coloured appeared on his plate, we heard all about it too.

One night I reached breaking point. I had made a roast, with potatoes. He liked meat and potatoes, but I had the audacity to also make corn, broccoli and perhaps even carrots. He began to cry, “I hate this. I don’t want this.” I was frustrated and angry. Like my own mother, I make almost all of our food from scratch because I want to know what it is going into it; it takes time to prepare a good meal, and for the umpteenth time it was getting turned down. I am not one those of moms who considers herself a short order cook, so there was no leaping up from the table and consoling him by making him a separate meal. And we don’t carry frozen snack foods, so I couldn’t/wouldn’t microwave some pocket-pizza-type dish.

I suddenly had a vision though, of this child 15 years down the line — refusing to eat any fruits and vegetables, eating only meat, pasta, bread, potatoes and junk food. I could not let him do that to himself. At that point I turned to Terry and said, “We are becoming vegetarians for a week.” It was a sacrifice for me too, as I love my red meat, but I wanted to instill an important lesson in our kids.

I went online and found seven vegetarian meals and the following day went to Farmer Jack and bought all I needed for the next week. I sat the kids down and explained the plan. I would make dinner that night, and we would all sit at the table to eat. If they chose not to eat the meal I made they could be excused. They would spend the rest of the evening in their room, there would be no TV, no snacks, nothing. The following morning those who had not eaten their dinner would receive their evening meal (heated) for breakfast. If they decided not to eat it, they could be excused. At snack time they would be offered their dinner from the night before. If they chose not eat it, they could be excused. The same would go for lunch, and for afternoon snack. At that time, the dinner leftovers would be scrapped, and they would be presented with a new dinner meal. They could drink water (we drink water with our meals) and at snack I would give them milk and juice, but no more than they would normally drink — I didn’t want them filling up on liquid.

The first night the seven of us sat down. Garrick, child #4, immediately started crying about the food on the table. Without losing my temper, or telling him he had to eat, I excused him from the table. Now he had nothing he could control — food can sometimes become a battle of the wills, and I never want food to be a flash point in my kid’s lives.

The following morning Garrick was presented with some of the leftovers from the night before. He cried, so Terry excused him from the breakfast table. At snack time I brought out some of the leftovers. He refused them. He also refused lunch and afternoon snack. Never once did I yell, or try and force the issue.

I made a new dish for dinner that night, and again the seven of us sat down to eat. Once again Garrick refused to eat it. By now my heart was breaking for my little four-year old, but no one said being a parent was easy! We sent him to his room.

The next morning when he came downstairs and found dinner waiting for breakfast, he was that hungry he ate it. A corner was turned! He realized the food was actually rather good, better than he’d expected. And because he ate the vegetables he could now enjoy the regular snacks the rest of the kids ate.

I wish I could say we had a care-free week after that, but that would be untrue. However, what happened was all of our kids began to experiment more with foods, and although there were a couple more nights when Garrick (or one of his siblings) went to bed without dinner, the decision to basically limit their choice to ‘either eat this food or go hungry’ worked.

That was five years ago. We have learnt that Garrick and Hayley will gag on cooked spinach, so if I make spinach, they don’t have to eat it. But they love raw spinach. All of our kids love vegetables now; and often we buy a vegetable tray from Costco as our evening meal. Garrick gravitates to the broccoli, the carrots and tomatoes. Even when I make a meal that has meat and potatoes, the kids know they have to eat some vegetables first. As a result our meat consumption has decreased, as they fill up on veggies, fruit and salads.

We are not 'food Nazis'. If you look in my pantry you will find pretzels, granola bars, and even the occasional box of Oreo's (although I make most of our cookies myself). I am not averse to a bowl of ice-cream every now and then, and my kids can spend part of their allowance on candy if they choose. But those foods are not an everyday, all day part of their lives.

I feel we have armed our kids with the ability to make wise food choices, and the knowledge that truly, veggies will not kill them!!

Labels: food, Garrick, Hayley, pizza, Terry, vegetables, Warrick

posted by The Smelker Seven @ 12:48 PM