The Smelker Seven

We Did It!

2009-01-01T10:15:00.009-06:00

Ok, I know it has been almost two months since I posted last - sorry to those of you who come by and check my blog.

First off - Happy New Year! 2008, a momentous year for many reasons is behind us, 2009 is filled with new hope, new promises and plenty of broken resolutions! I know I have several that I do plan on keeping, one of which is to get back into training for the triathlon. December was a 'bad' month in that I slacked on the training to focus on horse riding. We were given a horse at the beginning of December and I have been spending inordinate amounts of time at the stable riding our Thoroughbred-Quarter Horse mix. Espresso is a delight and the whole family has enjoyed being at the stables, riding, grooming, bathing and just spending time with one of God's magnificent creatures. Here is Espresso:

In other news - I had blogged in November about 101 days of sex, although in our case we decided it would have to be 102 days in order to ring in the New Year in the best way! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Terry and I completed our 'mission' this morning! Without sounding trite and cutesy, I will say it has been one of the best things we have done for our marriage, for our family and for ourselves.

Not every day was easy, although 99% of the time it was. One night about a month ago Terry had a migraine. Recently I had strep throat which made me feel less than glamourous, but through it all we made it! When Terry had his migraine I sent him to bed to sleep it off for a while and then I came in and woke him up. When I had strep throat we just made sure we didn't kiss! There were a handful of nights where the thought of going to bed, reading for a few minutes and then turning out the light sounded far more appealing than the alternative.

However the days of anticipation, the days of having fun, the days of enjoyment far outweigh the 'blah' days. And I discovered something that I know has been talked about in ladies magazines since time immemorial - having sex does make you feel better! There were a couple of times I had a headache. Pre-102 days I would have begged off sex, taken a couple of Ibuprofen and gone to bed. But instead I focused my husband and our pleasure and whammo - wouldn't you know it - headache gone!

Not only that but whether my appearance has changed or not, I 'feel' sexier! My appearance has changed too though. I have lost weight, become more toned and am definitely more limber. I think it is a cycle - I wanted to be desirable to Terry, so I began to work out; and because of the work outs I feel sexier, which gives me the incentive to work out, which makes having fun in the bedroom easier...

I mentioned in my November blog that one of the biggest benefits has been seen outside of the bedroom - in the area of communication. Terry and I have actively worked on our communication skills over the years; especially in the last two years. But like all couples we come at things from different angles and it is easy to be on the same side of the argument and not even realise it! However, there is something about sexual intimacy that opens up all channels of communication. Plenty of sex does not equal sexual intimacy, don't get me wrong. Porn stars have plenty of sex, but they're not intimate with the people they're having sex with - it is just an act for them. Sexual intimacy develops over time and is more than just a romp in the bedroom! It encompasses all aspects of one's married life.

Since beginning our 102 days of sex in September Terry and I have had exactly three disagreements. And I am not talking arguments or voices-raised-I-am-really-mad-at-you arguments, but small "I thought you said/meant/wanted such-and-such" type disagreements. For two people who are talkers and who have differing viewpoints on issues, that is almost a miracle!

Some may think that the reason for so few disagreements is the idea that you want to keep the peace so that you don't spoil the mood. That might partly be the case, but does not hold true for me. If I am upset then sex will not be enjoyable. And seeing the idea of 102 days of sex was to enjoy ourselves, what is the point of having sex just to keep score? "Yep, 51 down, 51 to go, but I am hating every minute of it!" What's the point of that?

No, the biggest reason we get along so well these days is because we truly communicate on many levels. The sexual odyssey deepened other aspects of our marriage, and cemented our love for one another and our commitment to one another. There are subtle changes in our relationship - a new kind of thoughtfulness has crept in. I don't know how many of you have read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but I think that is a book all married couples should read! My primary love language is gifts. Over the years it has been hit and miss for Terry in that aspect. More miss than hit actually! At the beginning of 2008 he really began to improve, but it is during these 102 days he really 'got it'. In the past he couldn't understand why I would get upset when I'd see him buy stuff for himself, and never for me (unless it was my birthday or Christmas). A couple of years ago he come home with some flowers for me and the kids panicked thinking they'd forgotten my birthday! We'd actually have arguments about it because for years because I felt so unappreciated. His attitude used to be, "Well. Just go buy it yourself if you want the darn thing so much." He couldn't see that if he bought it for me (whatever 'it' was) it would mean more, and show me that he was thinking of me. He has become really good at it now. When he goes to the bookstore to buy a magazine, he picks up a book for me. If he goes to the grocery store for groceries, he'll buy a card for me. Those gestures are so meaningful.

I too have realised that his primary love language is words of affirmation, and not just in the privacy of our home, but out in public. No man wants to hear his wife belittle him in front of people. I have never knowingly done that (I know better!) but I have made the effort to actively praise him in front of friends and family - and it is not false praise either. I truly feel blessed to be married to Terry - he loves God with his whole heart, he sacrifices for his family, he works hard to provide for us, he loves his kids so very much, he is compassionate, he is exceptionally gifted and talented, he is witty, smart, bright and most of all, he is MINE!

Some of my friends who knew that we had embarked on this adventure and have said, "Oh. I could never do that!" You don't know until you try! Don't allow the excuses to pile up - 'I'm too tired, too busy, too fat, too upset, too sick, too..." - Just Do It! We did - even with our five kids, our home-based businesses, our church commitments, and everyday activities that accompany all of the above.

I am not sure what we will do next - I do know however that our lives will never be the same again! The things we've learnt about each other, the communication skills we've acquired, the deepened understanding we have for one another are valuable treasures that neither one of us will take for granted.

Stay tuned - knowing us and our penchant for the unexpected we'll come up with something!

101 Days of What??

2008-11-03T16:20:00.010-06:00

"So, do you think it will be like chocolate?" My friend Cynthia asked me recently, "You know, where either you get sick of it, or the more you have of it the more you crave it?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I'll let you know."

And now, 46 days into our 'experiment' I can confidently say I definitely fall into the latter category - I crave 'it'.

Crave what? Chocolate?

No. Sex.

Let me explain:

On August 19th Fox News carried this story. I was so intrigued by it that I said to Terry, "Hey, wanna try it?" His eyes lit up once he read the story too. Of course, I had just given birth seven days earlier so starting the adventure was out of the question, but it gave us time to plan.

While I was pregnant I had already planned (and paid for) a romantic weekend away for Terry and I to Port Royal. I would be 5 weeks post-partum then and we decided that would be a great time to start our 101 Day odyssey. In doing the calculations I realised that 101 days takes us to New Year's Eve.

I haven't told too many people about our 101 Days, but I did tell Cynthia, Xavier's mother. "You can't stop on New Year's Eve," she exclaimed, "You have to ring in the New Year the right way!" She's perfectly correct of course, so really this should be titled 102 days, but we are following the title of the book!

So, how does this relate to chocolate? Any couple who has been married any length of time knows that their sex life can vary from day to day and from week to week. Sometimes it is erotic, passionate and breath-taking, a foreign rich, exotic dark chocolate, not taken lightly and not brought out every day. Other times it starts out as one thing and ends up being something completely different - a random blindfold-pulling from the mixed chocolate box; perhaps The Three Musketeers lands up on the evening chocolate plate - light-hearted and airy; another time it might be something nutty. We might plan for a certain kind of evening and end up with something light years removed from it.

But that is the joy of our 102 days, the unpredictability of it; the only predictable part is that Terry and I know that during the course of the day we will have sex. No excuses, no 'I'm too tired', 'I have a headache' excuses. There is no fear of rejection from each other during this time, no 'what if he/she says no?' because we have to say yes!

Terry blogged about this a couple of weeks ago and mentioned that this was a little tougher than he originally thought. Here is what he said, "You might be thinking, “But you’re a guy- don’t they have sex on the brain all the time?” Well, the truth is, although we might think of it a lot, the body is not always so willing, especially when the event is occurring every single day. The stresses and busyness of the daily life sometimes have left me with more inclination for sleep than for sex."

I am seeing only benefits to this though - we are a lot more aware of our appearance, both in the bedroom and out. I am on a mission anyway to get fit again after Xavier's birth, but this gives me added incentive. We touch each other more during the course of the day, and tend to sit close together even when performing separate tasks. We text each other and call, just to say 'I love you'. In some ways it is like we are courting again, but with the added benefit of years of intimacy attached to the thrill of dating. And because we know each other so well, we look for ways to keep things spicy and fresh. We talk more, and we are a couple of talkers anyway! But subjects that might in the past have been uncomfortable for us to discuss, we chat about with ease. We are more sensitive to each other while at the same time not being scared to express our thoughts on everything ranging from sex to salvation.

Every marriage has its share of disagreements. Terry and I over 15 years of marriage have managed pretty well to 'not let the sun go down on your wrath' (Ephesians 4:26) but there have been a couple of times the ill feelings have crept into the bedroom with us. Well, knowing I am going to be intimate with someone later on that day makes me rethink how upset I get about piddly little things. Am I really going to get bent out of shape because he didn't do something, or because he didn't say something?

We have asked each other what we will do once the 102 days of sex is over. We're not sure, but I did tease Terry that perhaps we should go for 365 days - like this couple!!

I'm the mother of a 19 year old

2008-11-02T22:19:00.002-06:00

But I still feel 19 myself! I was 22 when Warrick was born. I was fairly young to be a mother, but quite honestly, choosing to keep Warrick was the best decision I made. I was in college, finishing out my degree, almost penniless and single. The odds were stacked against us, however as I look at our oldest son I stand in amazement at God's grace and mercy on our lives.

Warrick is one of the most mature, most steady and most loyal people I know. In his entire life I have only seen him lose his temper twice, but I have seen him take joy in simple pleasures. He is non-demanding, understanding, giving and loving. When I look at this young man I really do thank God for what I see.

He asked a couple of weeks ago what his budget was for his birthday. He's been 'jonesing' for a new TV for a while. We came up with a figure and he went searching. Craigslist came through for him and he found an almost new 50 inch TV for sale that was in his price limit (he had to put a bit towards it). He and Terry went and fetched it on Thursday and seldom have I seen his face light up so brightly!

The piece de resistance was the surprise birthday party that we put together. As impetuous as I am, I do like to plan ahead for things like birthday parties, so I was surprised when, with 48 hours before his actual birthday Terry suggested we throw a surprise party. And yet we had many people turn up, even with such short notice.

God has blessed this young man tremendously, and I am thankful. We have come a long way since the day of his birth in Pretoria South Africa 19 years ago. And I know the Lord has good things in store for his future.

Hitting the Double Digits

2008-10-21T09:40:00.004-05:00

Garrick is our fourth child to make it to double digits. I am amazed they've all lived that long quite frankly! We must be doing something right - although all of our kids, Garrick included - have had their share of bumps, bruises, cuts, scrapes, stitches and broken bones.

As I was getting ready for the day I thought back to the night Garrick was born - he was our first child delivered at home. In retrospect it was one of the wisest decisions we made: if we had chosen to deliver at the birthing center (where both his older sisters were born), he undoubtably would have been delivered in the minivan on the side of Southfield Freeway. From the first contraction to his birth was under 50 minutes; he might have decided to arrive after his due date, but when he made an entrance, he was certainly dramatic!

And some things never change - Garrick is a natural comedian (inherited his Dad's quick wit), and talented actor (again, shades of Terry); he has an excellent voice and is very musically gifted. But most of all, he is boy who loves Jesus.

On Friday night a group of friends will come over and a videogame-a-thon is planned - we are bringing out the Wii, the Playstation, and the Nintendo. Sleep is optional - and I doubt very much that it is on the cards!

Tri-ng

2008-10-09T08:04:00.004-05:00

Little Xavier turned eight weeks yesterday! He looks more like his father every day and his parents are quite literally glowing! Their lives have been completely transformed with the arrival of their son, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Those of you who knew me after our fifth child Carson was born, will know that I lost all the weight after having our own children. You may also remember that between pregnancies (most notably between Hayley and Garrick) I didn't lose all the weight. As a result when I delivered Garrick I was much heavier than I would have liked. BUT, I lost it all!

Carrying four babies in under three years has made some changes to this body. Although I didn't gain a lot of weight with the twins, what weight I did gain I didn't lose because I knew I would be getting pregnant again. So when Jackson came along in April 2007 I was about as heavy as I was when I delivered Garrick. I dropped the baby weight pretty quickly, but again was stuck with the extra pounds that I just didn't lose after the twins. I was also a little 'hamstrung' because I fell during my pregnancy with Jackson and broke two toes on my right foot. Plus, I experienced painful braxton-hicks contractions from about 20 weeks into that pregnancy. Walking more than a block would bring one long 45 minute contraction so painful I would have to stop whatever I was doing and lie down. I would like to think I am not a pain wimp, after all I do natural child birth, but man, those puppies hurt!

After Jackson was born I did try to lose the weight, and was successful in dropping all the baby weight in the first 6 weeks. He was born in April, and by the end of May we were 'matched' with our third couple and there was talk that we might try for a July transfer. My then-OB had given me the go-ahead. Knowing I was going to get pregnant again caused all thought of trying to shed extra pounds go out the window! Well, July never materialised, August was out because the parents were in Spain visiting family, and then there were delays because of medications that weren't working properly. However every month there was a chance we'd be transferring. I therefore started my eighth pregnancy at the highest weight I had ever been in a non-pregnant state.

All of that back story to say that after Xavier was born I became determined to lose the weight. Unfortunately the contractions I experienced with Jackson I experienced with this last pregnancy and so my exercise was severely curtailed. Who wants to exercise knowing that walking for 10 minutes will land you on the couch for 45? I swam a fair bit, and that probably kept me from gaining too much.

Two weeks after Xavier was born I started working out. My goal was just to lose the weight and get some muscle tone back. But Xavier's mom has given me a challenge. She completed a marathon while I was pregnant and she was training for a 150 mile bike ride from San Antonio to Corpus to raise money for MS.

But she is also training for a triathlon. She challenged me to participate in the triathlon as well. The more I thought about it, the more it appealed to me. It gives me a specific goal, and a deadline - something I work well under. And because the triathlon is not until next spring, I have time to train.

Now I am working hard to participate in my very first (and possibly last!) triathlon. I am glad I have several months to get ready because I am really out of shape - it is quite pathetic! When I started working out two weeks after Xavier was born I could only walk 1 or 1.5 miles at a slow three miles an hour pace. I can now walk 4.25 miles in just under 55 minutes. I will be adding running to that this week, and then increasing the distance. The first time I tried cycling I could barely do three miles!

I feel so much better, with more energy and definitely more healthy - and people are noticing the change in my shape. Although I still have 25-30 lbs to lose, I am confident I can do it. My goal is to lose most of that by Christmas, and the rest in January. But more than that, my goal is to be fit and ready so that when I join an official triathlon team next March and being team training for the May triathlon that I can keep up with the team and actually do well!

Serene Sunday

2008-09-07T22:07:00.005-05:00

Our church offers three (actually four) services these days. A Saturday night service, two Sunday morning services and most recently a Sunday afternoon Spanish service. Terry teaches in the 11:00am service and now also teaches in the Spanish service. He loves teaching the kids and has great fun - but it makes for a long day for him.

I decided to attend the 9:00am service today and then take our four younger kids, and a neighburhood kid, Amanda, to the San Antonio Zoo. My in-laws kindly bought us the family membership as a Christmas gift last year, and we generally make good use of it. Today was the perfect day to go - the crowds were down, the weather was fine, 93 was the high, but there was no or little humidity. The animals were out in full force, and the kids were filled with energy. San Antonio Zoo is very pretty, with many points of interesting architecture, and is surrounded by a park, with the Witte Museum and the Japanese Tea Gardens nearby.

The kids did have a good time - we go so often these days that they know exactly when a new animal is on exhibit, and if something is out of place!

Garrick and Teagan

Carson

Amanda and Hayley

School Days or is that Daze?

2008-09-02T22:40:00.004-05:00

By now most of the nation's school kids have started school. Our kids actually started back on August 25th, the week before Labor Day. I think the Texas school system is slowly working towards starting after Labor Day and ending the school year closer to the middle of June, rather than the beginning of June. Perhaps one reason they like to end the year a little earlier is the heat - our summer here starts in April and ends in November, with the hottest months between May and August. If they extend school through June, the cooling bill must be astronomical - especially when one looks at the June we just experienced.

Anyway, the kids started school. This year I had to spend big bucks to kit the kids - not so much in school supplies, but in clothes. Teagan has grown 8 inches since last year and now is only 1.5 inches shorter than me. I noticed most of her clothes were too short, so we held an impromptu fashion show a month ago and at the end of it she had two pairs of jeans, one shirt, and two t-shirts that fit her! Hayley inherited many of her clothes as a result. Garrick was in the same boat - he'd outgrown all of his pants, and quite a few of his shirts. Unfortunately, unlike the girls who can share many of the same things, Garrick and Carson are built completely differently. Garrick is in Slim, Carson in Regular. So we hied ourselves off to Ross, WalMart, Kohls and Marshalls, and $700 later all four kids were outfitted. I have never spent that much in one season on clothes! It was insane - but they needed everything from underwear out. I haven't even got around to the shoes yet - I know that is coming though. Teagan and I are wearing the same size shoe (for now) which is fun for both of us. I teased her and told her that if she grew any more, I wanted her shoes.

So, here are the first day of school photos - Garrick has peanut butter on his cheek, and the mark between his eyes was a spider bite that was just subsiding.

Garrick and Carson

Teagan and Hayley

Happy Labor Day Weekend

2008-08-31T10:00:00.003-05:00

The talk is summer is winding down - perhaps it is in the northern states, but here in San Antonio the general consensus is we will have another three months of summer before the cool down occurs - which is mostly true.

Unfortunately our neighborhood pool closes this weekend. It seems such a shame because the weather will be fine and hot for at least the foreseeable future. But our lifeguards have to get back to College, and school. One graduated College and now has to get a 'real' job, so there are no people to man the pool.

We plan on spending this afternoon and as much time tomorrow at the pool getting in the last official swim of the season!

Eleven Today

2008-08-20T11:37:00.003-05:00

Wednesday is a good day to have a baby in the Smelker household - four of our five children were born on a Wednesday, and Hayley was one of them.

I asked her several weeks ago what she would like for her birthday, and I then sent an email to Terry outlining the ideas. She asked for a laptop (not even close! Warrick got his as a graduation present); a TV - again a big, fat NO; and some Polly Pockets - well, ok, but they are not really a gift I would buy. Then she asked for a Nintendo DS, a handheld gaming system for those who don't have kids. I thought that was a brilliant idea, and so did Terry.

On Monday Terry went out and bought the system, a game, a protective cover for it, and Warrick bought a second game for it. Here is the look on her face when she opened the game:

Whenever birthdays and Christmas roll around I am reminded of God's love for us. As parents, Terry and I want to give our kids the very best (without spoiling them) and it breaks our hearts, if, for whatever reason, we are unable to. We know God wants to give his very best for us, and did, in the person of Jesus. I fall in love with Him just a little more every time one of my kids has a birthday.

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY HAYLEY!!!

Xavier Fernandez-Tello

2008-08-19T09:23:00.002-05:00

I have been fairly quiet on my blog about my latest surrogacy journey. Last April I delivered Jackson, and then almost immediately the agency I was working with asked if I would consider being matched with another couple. I was initially a little hesitant, after all, I had just had a baby! But in June Terry and I met with Javier and Cynthia, and I knew I could not say no. After a few little bumps in the road we had our transfer set - November 30th. The pregnancy was confirmed in December and in January we discovered they were expecting a singleton. I was not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed - I really thought it was twins again. Perhaps, in retrospect I am glad it was just one baby.

At the ultrasound we had done at 21 weeks, Javier and Cynthia found out they were going to have a boy. "And a big one, too." said our OB. At that moment I began to ask whether we could induce a couple of weeks early. My reasoning was if I had to be induced anyway (the previous two pregnancies ended with inductions) let's do it sooner rather than later. We talked about for a few weeks and finally settled on August 13th for a birth date. That date has significance for me for two reasons - it is my only brother's birthday; and it is the date that Terry formally adopted Warrick back in 1997.

We got to the hospital early on Wednesday morning and after 81 minutes of contractions, Xavier Fernandez-Tello made his loud entrance into the world! Weighing a hefty 8 lbs 12 oz (3.9 kilios) and measuring 21 inches (53.34 cm), he certainly is no lightweight. According to his parents he only lost an ounce before leaving the hospital, and is a champion eater.

People ask why I do this, and whether it is hard to give the baby up at the end. Well, it was never my baby to keep in the first place, I am its keeper until it is ready to go home with its parents. When I look at photos like this one, I know I have become a part of something very special, something that all childless couples long for, and this is why I do this.

TV Spot

2008-07-16T16:50:00.006-05:00

A couple of months back (two now) I was asked to be on a morning show (Great Day SA) for the Mother's Day show, showcasing surrogacy. Knowing I was to be on the show was the catalyst that finally got my surrogacy agency started. Since then I have had a lot of activity to the agency website and have a possible match pending with a couple looking for a surrogate.

Two days ago I was finally able to pick up that segment from KENS 5 and Terry posted it to his website: iMuse

Anyway, last month one of the magazines I write for asked me to interview the former host of the OTHER morning show here in town called San Antonio Living. She saw I was pregnant and yada yada yada, we talked business (she had started her own company) but she said it was a cool story and she would send my details on to the new host of SA Living.

Well, out of the blue yesterday afternoon at 2:30PM I got a call from the host. They wanted Terry and I on the show today at 10:00AM! And they focused on the agency aspect and less on my being pregnant.

God has opened so many doors for me. Back in April I had to interview the President of one of the largest hospitals in town. It happens to be where I delivered Jackson last year, and where I am delivering this little one next month. He had heard there was a surrogate who had delivered and as soon as he realised it was me, he gave me his cell phone number and told me to call him when I came to the maternity section because 'I want to know you're taken care of'. But the hospital has its own fertility doctors and he told me that he was going to tell all the doctors at their center to start referring my agency for couples needing a woman to carry their baby/babies.

I am humbled and truly thankful as I see how God is opening these doors for us. Most people have to fight to get advertising, but people are coming to me!

We arrived at the set bright and early this morning and found out that we were to be given 10 minutes, and that we were at the top of the show, right after Regis and Kelly. After our segment was complete, my phone was flooded with calls! I have couples looking for surrogates and I even received a call from a woman wanting to be a carrier.

Here is a link to the video (need to download it for my website!):
San Antonio Living

Swimming, bowling, and kittens, oh my!

2008-07-12T12:23:00.003-05:00

The summer league swim season is done and Hayley and Carson were both happy to receive their trophies. This is Carson's first ever trophy and I know, despite some whining during the course of the short swim season, he was happy to finally have a trophy with his name on it!
We have been spending many hours a week at the pool - this has been a dry, long and HOT summer, with most days hovering around 95-100 degrees, so the water comes as a welcome relief for us all.

Terry and I have had a long-standing tradition with our kids, dating back to when Warrick was young where we have a Mommy/Daddy and Me day. For a long time it was a Daddy and Me day because Terry worked so many hours, and we wanted to ensure he developed a great relationship with them. As they have matured, the kids now choose either he or I to go and do something with. This week Carson asked me if we could have a day. He asked to go bowling and then to watch a movie. It was such fun bowling with him, and he is quite the chatterbox when he is by himself!

Our new kitten, Thandi, has made herself completely at home and it's apparent the other cats are enamoured with her as well, especially Drake, our large ginger male. I have dubbed him "Daddy Drake" because he has taken every kitten under his wing, and little Thandi is no exception, as you can see here!

So, we are in the full swing of summer and loving every moment of it!

Of watermelons and Fireworks

2008-07-06T18:38:00.003-05:00

I love holidays!! I love knowing that my family can spend the day together and we get to do something fun, even if it is low-key. This year we decided to spend the afternoon at Northern Hills Pool. Our kids were/are on their swim team, and we spend most days there. And seeing this has been a hot and dry summer we have been there almost every day!

This July 4th the pool had fun, games, a silent auction and a raffle. This was our first year participating and we had a blast! The kids took part in an egg toss, and then Teagan and I swam in a watermelon relay. Watermelons were greased up and you had to swim and push them from one side of the pool to the other. We came in third, but had fun doing it! By far the best contest was the watermelon eating one. Warrick took part in it, and won! Here he is enjoying a watermelon slice. All the contestants had to eat it with their hands behind their backs. Carson participated as well, but didn't win. He was a little bummed until he realised he was allowed to finish off his large watermelon slice.

Warrick and Carson - Carson is on the right hand side:

The finale for us was meeting up with some friends and then driving up to a little town in the Hill Country called Kerrville to watch their fireworks. Our friends, Chris and Autumn have been making the drive for about four years and extolled the virtues of this particular fireworks display. Kerrville isn't a large town (it does have a good tourist trade), but their fireworks truly were magnificent. And the drive there was gorgeous too - they don't call this area of Texas Hill Country for nothing! The limestone hills are beautiful and in many cases the road is cut right into the hills.

Welcome To the Smelker's AKA a Menagerie

2008-06-30T20:23:00.005-05:00

Almost a year ago, our family had to make the hard decision to put our Maine Coon, Serena, to sleep. She had crept into our hearts the way no other cat has.

We have brought two new cats into the house since then, but neither of them are Maine Coon cats (although we love them dearly). The Maine Coon is special. We have not actively looked for one for couple of reasons, we have four cats already and really don't need another one, and the other reason is we didn't realise how much we missed having a Maine Coon around.

At the beginning of June, Teagan bought a frog. While we were at the pet store, I noticed a gorgeous male Maine Coon. Now, I know better than to buy a pet from a pet store, so I did no more than look briefly at him, think he was gorgeous and enquire how much they were selling him for. I almost lost it when they told me $1000! You can get one from a reputable breeder for less than that!!

When I got home that afternoon, I told Terry about the Maine, and his response was typical - we don't need any more pets. Well of course I know that! Anyway, a couple of days later he had to return to the pet store to buy some crickets for the frog. He called me from the store and said, "OK, that Maine is gorgeous! If we had a $1000 in the budget I would so be bringing him home." Of course, he knows better. Then he said, "You know, seeing this Maine make me realise how much I miss Serena. I really think we should look at getting another Maine Coon." Just a week earlier a Maine Coon Cat rescue group had advertised on craigslist, looking for people to adopt a slew of kittens they had rescued from a Kill shelter in Austin. I asked him if he was serious because we could get one of those kittens for less than $150. He said yes, so I called the woman immediately.

We filled out the paperwork that day! The organisation called all our references, and our vet. We passed the adoption test, but had to wait three weeks for our new kitten. She was severely underweight, was flea infested and so filled with worms they were coming out both ends. She responded well to the treatments and her foster mother fell in love with her. However, this weekend she was ready to come home, so Terry and I made the drive to Austin to get her. Her foster mother has done a great job of socialising this little one, and she has made a seamless adjustment into our home as a result.

We came up with a name for her the same day we saw photos of her. We decided to use an African name, so I picked a Xhosa name meaning 'nurturing love'. The name is Thandi, pronounced Tun-dee.

So, without further ado, here is our new baby making herself at home in the little cat tower we have.

Pageant Weekend

2008-06-23T19:57:00.005-05:00

Back in March (or April) we received a letter in the post inviting our girls to an open call for National American Miss. I checked it out thoroughly before taking the girls to the first open call because the last thing I wanted was to spend money and feel we were gypped. Imagine my delight when I realised this is a great organization, with good morals, and they encourage girls to become the best they can be, without relying on looks. In fact, up until the Jr. Teen level (age 13 and up), the contestants are not allowed to wear make up.

The open call consisted of the girls undergoing a short one-on-one interview, and speaking in public to the people who were in attendance. We were informed that we would receive a call back letter if our girls were accepted. Part of me thought, "Yea right, everyone will receive a letter!" However, in looking at the number of girls who were in our open call, and knowing that two more were offered that same weekend in our location, as well as open calls in Houston, Austin and Dallas, I see now that to be chosen as one of the finalists was actually a great honor. If the same number of girls came to each open call, there were probably close to 900 girls in the South Texas area alone who attended open call. Only 140 made it to state finals, and our girls were two of them.

The weekend was an eye-opener for us. We opted to do just the basic pageant - personal introduction, one-on-one interview and formal wear. There is also a talent segment, an actress segment, a spokesperson segment, a modeling segment and a photogenic segment that are optional. It does not affect the judge's scoring if one participates in those optionals (they have different judges for the optional segments), but we noticed that those girls who were involved in the optional contests were also the ones who scored the highest with the pageant judges. I think the confidence the girls get from being so involved carried over to the pageant part.

Already the girls are talking about what they want to do for next year! Of course we have to go through the call backs again, but they should do just fine. And next year Terry and I will be better prepared - there are so many things we need to do as parents to prepare the girls too.

We had planned on doing on some sight-seeing this weekend. Now we know that it is impossible to do that! Once we were in the hotel our entire focus was pretty much on the pageant! Ah well - next time...

I am posting a couple of photos here, but here is a link to an album I created from the photos we took this weekend:

Smelker Girls.

More swim photos

2008-06-19T11:08:00.003-05:00

For some reason there are no photos of Carson taken (I work as a timer at the meets, so taking a camera would be a waste of time!) I am sure that in the next meet I will get one of him - perhaps I can ask Clem to specifically take one! Anyway, here are two of Hayley from last week's meet - freestyle and getting ready to dive in for the relay (her goggles broke, so we need to buy some new ones:

Summer's Here, and the Livin's easy

2008-06-11T20:27:00.011-05:00

Well the Smelker kids finished school last week and already we are in the full swing of swim meets, swim practice, piano practice, and the like. Actually swim practice started two weeks before school let out. Our team had its first swim meet on Saturday. Hayley and Carson are on the swim team this year. A professional photographer happens to have kids on the team, so he spent Saturday shooting photo after photo. He got a great shot of Hayley as she swam in her breast-stroke race.
She took 3rd, out of 16 - so not bad at all! Carson did not place this week, but he surprised all of us with his turn of speed. He had not been doing well in practices, and I wondered whether he would even finish his race. But he came in 3rd in his heat, and I think took 8th overall (again out of 16 swimmers).

Father's Day is approaching and last week I asked Terry what he wanted for his day. Now, I had just bought him Tom Servo so was unsure of what else to get him. He asked for a lightsaber - one of the ones from The Sharper Image. Part of me thought, "Well, if that's what he wants..." But it seemed so, well, lame.

On Friday (June 6th) Warrick called me and asked if I wanted to go in on a Father's Day gift with him. "What do you want to get?" I asked.
"A Wii," he responded. We had tried to buy one at Christmas but found it impossible. But Warrick knew a local store that got shipments in once a week. He called the store when the shipment came in, and drove over immediately and bought the system. He called me again to let me know he had it. "Do we have to wait until Father's Day to give it to him?" I took pity on him, I think he was more excited than anyone to give the Wii to Terry, so last week Terry his early Father's Day gift. Let me tell you, boxing on the Wii gives you quite the work-out!

Next weekend we are on our way to Houston as the girls will take part in a pageant. We will spend a day at the Space Center, and on the way home spend some time at the Houston Aquarium. We had to buy evening gowns for the girls and I got a great deal from a place here in town. When the dresses are altered, and the girls put them on, I will put up some photos - they look stunning!

So, all in all, a busy June, and July is shaping up to be just as busy!

Dinner Dilemma

2008-05-22T12:48:00.008-05:00

Remember the halcyon days of our youth, where our parents used to plunk a plate of food at the table and we had a choice - either eat it or go hungry? Perhaps if you're under the age of 35 you might not have those great memories! Seems like many families today, parents and kids alike, are such fussy eaters that they now eat a diet of pizza, hotdogs, pre-packaged family TV dinners, chips, salsa, cookies and ice cream. Is it any wonder then that a program like Honey We’re Killing the Kids became an instant 'water cooler' topic the moment it hit airwaves in the UK and the USA. The Joy of Tech website even took a swat at the issue with a comic strip where a group of overweight kids tease the skinny kid for not being fat.

I know with the pressures of work and family commitments, and the running the kids a million different places it becomes hard to always prepare a fresh meal every night - but my own mother is a shining example of someone who worked a full day job and still managed to make from-scratch meals every night. Dining out was a rare treat. She also kept no 'junk' in the house, but we always had an endless supply of fresh fruit and vegetables to munch on. And in the days when she cooked, the microwave was a new invention. So what's my excuse?

Five years ago, when our children were 13, 7, 5, 4 and 3, Terry and I did something that I have never regretted, and is something I am often asked to speak to other families about. We created a family of non-fussy eaters. Our oldest son, Warrick does not know the meaning of the word fussy, and was a fantastic eater. My girls followed, and were introduced to a variety of foods at a young age, and have been pretty good about food.

But then along came child #4. As a baby he was all right, and didn’t spit too many things out. As he got older and was able to verbalise, he certainly made me aware that he was not too impressed with the family dinners! If I served pizza (rare occurrence), he was thrilled and hot dogs (maybe served once or twice a year) were heralded with crows of delight; BUT if anything coloured appeared on his plate, we heard all about it too.

One night I reached breaking point. I had made a roast, with potatoes. He liked meat and potatoes, but I had the audacity to also make corn, broccoli and perhaps even carrots. He began to cry, “I hate this. I don’t want this.” I was frustrated and angry. Like my own mother, I make almost all of our food from scratch because I want to know what it is going into it; it takes time to prepare a good meal, and for the umpteenth time it was getting turned down. I am not one those of moms who considers herself a short order cook, so there was no leaping up from the table and consoling him by making him a separate meal. And we don’t carry frozen snack foods, so I couldn’t/wouldn’t microwave some pocket-pizza-type dish.

I suddenly had a vision though, of this child 15 years down the line — refusing to eat any fruits and vegetables, eating only meat, pasta, bread, potatoes and junk food. I could not let him do that to himself. At that point I turned to Terry and said, “We are becoming vegetarians for a week.” It was a sacrifice for me too, as I love my red meat, but I wanted to instill an important lesson in our kids.

I went online and found seven vegetarian meals and the following day went to Farmer Jack and bought all I needed for the next week. I sat the kids down and explained the plan. I would make dinner that night, and we would all sit at the table to eat. If they chose not to eat the meal I made they could be excused. They would spend the rest of the evening in their room, there would be no TV, no snacks, nothing. The following morning those who had not eaten their dinner would receive their evening meal (heated) for breakfast. If they decided not to eat it, they could be excused. At snack time they would be offered their dinner from the night before. If they chose not eat it, they could be excused. The same would go for lunch, and for afternoon snack. At that time, the dinner leftovers would be scrapped, and they would be presented with a new dinner meal. They could drink water (we drink water with our meals) and at snack I would give them milk and juice, but no more than they would normally drink — I didn’t want them filling up on liquid.

The first night the seven of us sat down. Garrick, child #4, immediately started crying about the food on the table. Without losing my temper, or telling him he had to eat, I excused him from the table. Now he had nothing he could control — food can sometimes become a battle of the wills, and I never want food to be a flash point in my kid’s lives.

The following morning Garrick was presented with some of the leftovers from the night before. He cried, so Terry excused him from the breakfast table. At snack time I brought out some of the leftovers. He refused them. He also refused lunch and afternoon snack. Never once did I yell, or try and force the issue.

I made a new dish for dinner that night, and again the seven of us sat down to eat. Once again Garrick refused to eat it. By now my heart was breaking for my little four-year old, but no one said being a parent was easy! We sent him to his room.

The next morning when he came downstairs and found dinner waiting for breakfast, he was that hungry he ate it. A corner was turned! He realized the food was actually rather good, better than he’d expected. And because he ate the vegetables he could now enjoy the regular snacks the rest of the kids ate.

I wish I could say we had a care-free week after that, but that would be untrue. However, what happened was all of our kids began to experiment more with foods, and although there were a couple more nights when Garrick (or one of his siblings) went to bed without dinner, the decision to basically limit their choice to ‘either eat this food or go hungry’ worked.

That was five years ago. We have learnt that Garrick and Hayley will gag on cooked spinach, so if I make spinach, they don’t have to eat it. But they love raw spinach. All of our kids love vegetables now; and often we buy a vegetable tray from Costco as our evening meal. Garrick gravitates to the broccoli, the carrots and tomatoes. Even when I make a meal that has meat and potatoes, the kids know they have to eat some vegetables first. As a result our meat consumption has decreased, as they fill up on veggies, fruit and salads.

We are not 'food Nazis'. If you look in my pantry you will find pretzels, granola bars, and even the occasional box of Oreo's (although I make most of our cookies myself). I am not averse to a bowl of ice-cream every now and then, and my kids can spend part of their allowance on candy if they choose. But those foods are not an everyday, all day part of their lives.

I feel we have armed our kids with the ability to make wise food choices, and the knowledge that truly, veggies will not kill them!!

Special Mother's Day

2008-05-11T20:43:00.004-05:00

Some Mother's Days stick in your memory like super glue. One year Terry and the kids bought me a diamond solitaire necklace. Last year we were driving home from a vacation from Disney World.

This year has far surpassed my expectations. Firstly, on Wednesday morning I was featured on Great Day SA as they told our story of being a surrogate. That show was repeated this morning - Mother's Day.

Terry has booked a massage and facial for me at Spa Jane. I will go and enjoy that on Thursday morning, and I am thoroughly looking forward to it.

But my biggest surprise came this morning as I made my way downstairs after getting ready for church. On the kitchen table was a smallish bag with a couple of cards. I read the cards and then took the gift paper off the bag. I was expecting something small like perfume, or perhaps a watch, but what I saw instead was this:

Warrick and Terry decided to split the cost of the phone and yesterday while they were out picking up Warrick's new bed, they stopped off at The Apple Store and bought me the one and only cell phone I have said I wanted! I am not really a gadget kind of person, I seldom use anything other than my iMac on a regular basis. But when the iPhone debuted last year, I said to Terry, "I want that phone!" It's the only time I have ever asked for a gadget! Terry was thrilled, thinking that maybe I was becoming a gadget geek like him.

So, welcome to my new phone - like any Mac product in this house, it has a name. I have named my phone Aidan, it means 'happiness' and was my first choice as a name for Warrick before I was persuaded to choose a different name. This is my first iPhone and therefore seemed appropriate.

This Mother's Day will certainly stick out in my mind!

Happy Birthday My Love

2008-05-02T17:15:00.002-05:00

I have known you for 5,475 days (give or take a day).

We have been married for 5,178 of those days.

Today you celebrate 43 years on this earth - that is 15,706 days (I included leap years too!), or 516 months.

Can I love you more tomorrow than I do now? Well, I love you more today than I did yesterday!

Happy birthday my love, may the next 15,706 days be the best of your life!!

Spring Happenings and more

2008-04-14T19:53:00.000-05:00

Flowers are planted, the air is balmy, and all around me is the evidence of spring. Of course here in San Antonio it has been that way since February! But a month ago I planted flowers all around the front of my porch. It makes the front of the house appear so bright and cheery. I chose a lot of red to 'pop' the white facade of the house.

In other news:

I have not broadcast to too many people that I am pregnant yet again. Again, not my baby, but a baby for a deserving couple. Let me hasten to add, this is NOT my baby. I am not getting pregnant and then giving my baby away. The genes/DNA of this baby belong completely to the couple I am carrying for. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and today we had all the important ultrasound to reveal the gender of the baby. It is a boy. This is now the 6th boy I am carrying! I have had 3 girls and 5 boys, I thought I was about due for a girl, but nature decided otherwise! The parents are over the moon, in fact the father couldn't even talk for a few minutes, he was completely stunned.

Countdown to the end of the school year begins, the pool opens in less than a month, and already it is hot enough to swim. We took advantage of an open house at a local gym, and used their wonderful outdoor pools with water slides to cool down this weekend.

Gosh, I LOVE San Antonio!

Before and After

2008-03-06T07:46:00.006-06:00

A year ago this month we brought this little one home from the vet:

This is him today. To give you an idea of how large he is, Joshua our San Antonio Special dog weighs in at 17 lbs. Drake weighs in at 16 lbs 2 oz!! This is one big cat!!

Carson Lee Smelker

2008-03-05T19:21:00.003-06:00

Our 'baby' is all growed up! Well, not quite, but almost. I was talking to a client this morning and mentioned that my baby was eight years old today and although I didn't get misty-eyed I came to the realisation that all my kids are truly growing up. Eight sounds so old, you know?

Carson woke up first thing this morning and raced down the stairs. He knew there would be a couple of gifts for him and he was not disappointed. He has been 'jonesing' for two lego sets - one an Indiana Jones set, where Indiana is chased by the giant ball. The other one was a Y-wing Star Fighter from Star Wars. Although he was allowed to open them this morning he wasn't able to play with them until returning from school. As Terry said, "I pity his poor teacher today. I am not sure he will be able to focus on anything!"

The minute he and his older brother Garrick arrived home they ran upstairs. Here it is 7:30pm and they are STILL building and playing! They took a short break for dinner and a bath, then they were back at it.

Here is the Indiana Jones set:

And here is the Y Wing Fighter:

Anniversary Weekend

2008-02-24T12:17:00.002-06:00

Waterfalls
Sunshine
Blue Skies
Lovely hotel
Riverwalk
Tower of the Americas

Perfection!!

Terry and I just returned from a weekend getaway, even though the getaway was only 25 minutes from our house! San Antonio has so much to see and do and we have barely scratched the surface. This weekend we spent time at The Buckhorn Museum and The Tower of the Americas. Terry had a bit of a hard time with the Tower (750 feet off the ground) not because of the height but because the windows are convex and threw his balance off. The Tower also has a 4-d ride called Skies over Texas. The Landry Company (who own the Tower) have taken a page out of Disney's book and themed the ride exceptionally well.

Here are some photos of us at the Tower and of the waterfalls:

12!! She's 12??!!

2008-02-21T18:47:00.002-06:00

My littlest baby (weighing in at 7lbs even) turned 12 today.

4,384 days old
144 months
6 houses
one inter-state move
6 schools (five preschool and elementary schools, one middle school)

When I wrote in Teagan's birthday card I said she is the sunshine of our lives and with her easy smile, her sweet personality and her desire to help, she truly is our ray of sunshine.

Twelve years ago Teagan was born and came home from the birthing center. Looking down at the black-haired baby with a mohawk Terry and I were astounded that we produced this little beauty queen.

Happy birthday my love.

Growing Up

2008-02-11T15:07:00.000-06:00

Hayley has been bugging me about cutting her hair - and I don't mean trimming it either. She wanted a full on all-out cut! Knowing how Terry feels about long hair, I put her off for as long as I could. Earlier this summer I capitulated somewhat when I cut it shoulder length. Teagan also wanted her hair cut the same length.

Two weeks ago I was looking through a magazine and saw a photo of Victoria Beckham. The hairstyle would suit Teagan's shape face to a "T", so I showed her the photo and she loved the look! Hayley then asked whether she could please, please get hers cut too. I told Terry she wanted to go short, and he said, "Go for it"! (Maybe the fact that he's growing his out has softened him on the whole long hair thing, I don't know!)

Anyway, here are my girls before:

And here they are after:

FINALLY - Piano lessons

2008-02-06T19:03:00.000-06:00

Last March a dear friend of ours from church gave us a piano. She and her husband had two and she figured they'd only play one at a time! It is an older piano and needed about $400 worth of work before it was entirely playable. The kids have been plunking around on it, and surprisingly enough, one of them, Teagan, is remarkably melodious. Her 'plunking' was actually restful. Although we wanted to get them lessons I struggled to find a teacher. So the piano sat mostly idle once it was completely restored back in the summer.

In November I was talking to a newbie at church. She is an Australian who met and married one of our church members. Through idle chit-chat I discovered she is a piano teacher! She was getting settled into her new home and her new routine, and called me in January to tell me she was ready to start lessons. She has even offered to come to the house and teach here - that is HUGE!! It is so hard to sometimes transport and then keep occupied, four kids. I told her we'd come to her house initially and see how it turns out, but if necessary, she will come to our house.

The two girls took to it right away. Garrick said he didn't want to do lessons but I think he will change his mind because he is definitely interested in what the girls did today. Carson is under the weather (he was off school for two days with a bad cough, fevers and the chills) and so did not fare as well in the lesson as he could have. He might be our early drop-out.

Now I am listening to the piano being played with purpose, and it is the best sound in the world!

TOTALLY Spoilt

2008-02-04T20:53:00.000-06:00

OK, a little back story here. When DH and I first married I was not that fond of diamonds, I preferred emeralds, sapphires etc. I am not sure whether it's because I grew up around the diamond mines of South Africa and diamonds seemed like a dime a dozen (or as they say in South Africa, a tickey(2 pennies) a time); but colored gemstones seemed more precious to me.

When we got married I picked out a really nice emerald wedding ring, and loved it. When we moved to San Antonio we got to the point where we really had no money and we had to pawn some things. At that point my ring was getting a little tight for me, and as loath as I was to do it, I sold it so we could pay bills. I had other rings; Terry has bought me a ring with the birth of each one of our children. We chose not to sell any of those as they had way too much sentimental value. I wore the sapphire ring Terry bought me for the birth of Hayley, our third child as my wedding ring.

Fast forward to now: we are doing much, much better, we have some money in savings, we have income coming in, and last June Terry said he wanted to buy me a new ring. He wanted me to get diamonds, and he wanted it big. "I want people to know we are married," he joked. We found a ring and have been saving. We had hoped to get it for Christmas but couldn't swing it. However he made some extra, extra money in January and went ahead and got the ring.

Here is my new rock!

Our Body: The Universe Within

2008-01-28T10:22:00.000-06:00

The Witte Museum is a wonderful museum here in town that has many permanent exhibits and many that change over the course of several months. Last summer I took the kids to see the dinosaur exhibit they had. We spent several pleasant hours at the Museum.

Right now the museum is touting their newest exhibit - The Human Body. It is, by all accounts, quite amazing! The exhibit features 12 bodies and more than 75 anatomical displays preserved using a method known as polymer impregnation. According to the website,"the process leaves even the finest, most delicate tissue structures virtually intact, down to the microscopic level, making the process invaluable for medical study. The organs are actually IDENTICAL to their pre-preservation state. The plastic is initially pliable, enabling the bodies to be placed in many different life-like positions, and then hardens after infusion. The specimens are completely dry and odorless."

Tuesday is free day at the museum, unfortunately this exhibit won't be free, but I definitely plan on taking the kids to see it in the next month or so. I wonder whether it will be creepy knowing you're looking at a real human, rather than a model of one?

Smelker News

2008-01-22T19:07:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I posted; mostly because since the beginning of the year (I know, I know, only 3 weeks!) I have been slammed with work. It's a good thing, really! It is either that or get an office job. As much as I enjoyed working for DNP Photo last December, I much prefer the flexible schedule working from home allows me to have. I can volunteer at the school as needed, in fact tomorrow I have to stand in the copy room for a couple of hours copying the newsletter I created for the nine week period ending on Friday.

Warrick has moved back home. Last June he moved to a friend's house, a kind of half way point between leaving home, striking out on his own in an apartment. Even though he makes good money (for an 18 year old) he realised he just couldn't make it financially, not without incurring debt and he KNOWS how we feel about debt! We invited him to move back and I am happy he is here. We seldom see him, he leaves for work in the morning, comes home for dinner some nights and then works on his college material.

Terry has been kept very busy by a client named Chris Voss. He was recently featured on local television about his work on a particular home, Sitterle Homes. The neat thing is Terry actually designed several of the pieces mentioned in the article, and then Chris created them. Right now Chris is working with a VP of Dell in Austin, and Terry designed several of the pieces that Chris will now create from iron.

As the weather warms I am sure we will spend more time outside! We took advantage of the warm weather at the end of December and spent the day at the zoo, but it has been too cold for even these Michigan transplants to return!

Search Words - Piece of Fiction

2008-01-07T12:02:00.000-06:00

Nicola sighed as she scanned her post while dispiritedly walking up the path to her house. Junk, junk, junk, oh here was an envelope from her attorney. Bet it’s a summons from The Schmuck. The Schmuck was her soon-to-be ex-husband. Probably wants the car, the house and everything else he can get his grubby hands on.

As she jiggled her key in the lock she heard Lulu yapping inside. “Why do you insist on such a yappy little dog?” Robert (the Schmuck) had growled soon after the wedding. Nicola had no real answer, except she liked Lulu – wasn’t that enough? He’d bought Lulu as a gift while they were dating, as a ‘token of his love’, but like so many ‘tokens’ it was a means to hide his manipulative ways. She recalled all the jewelry he had given her, it meant nothing now; in fact she planned to return it all to him.

The only problem with divorcing a high-powered attorney who had personal wealth and business clout behind him was all the debt she was incurring. Every time she turned around there was another summons, and each time she had to defend herself and it all cost money. Her credit was wrecked, and trying to keep up with the mortgage payments meant she was working insane hours. Acquaintances at work, those not in the know, wanted to know what her weight loss secret was, thinking she was on some fabulous diet. She even had to squelch the rumour she was battling cancer!

Perusing the bills caused her to shudder. Home insurance and car insurance were both due. “I might have to loan money from mom and dad again,” she said as an aside to Lulu. The Yorkshire Terrier pranced about her feet, she didn’t care what mood Nicola was in, she gave her love freely. Nicola smiled vaguely and leant over to ruffle the silky fur that felt more like human hair than dog fur. “Well, you’re a cheap roommate at least,” she chuckled. “All you need is food, water and some grooming every once in a while. You’re not a fashion plate wanna-be like The Schmuck.”

Nicola placed the bills on her desk and switched on her i-Book to go online and check email. Her business emails were forwarded to the house in case she needed to take care of something late at night. She realized, again, that she needed to update her Word processing software. The stuff at work was one version higher than what she currently had at home. At least at home though she didn’t have to worry about Spyware, not like at work. OK, well time to get to go work on her true love, writing – her book was almost done!

************************************************************************************
Contained in this short essay are the most-searched words for 2007. (Not including Britney Spears!)

The results are in

2008-01-05T22:32:00.000-06:00

Well on December 17th I had my first official pregnancy blood draw from the doctor's office. I NEVER test beforehand with home pregnancy tests for two reasons. Firstly I don't want to be the first to officially know if I am pregnant, I believe that is for the parents to hear, this is their baby/babies after all. Plus I have had the joy of being the first to know whether I am pregnant five times already. That is not to say that I didn't figure out I was pregnant, I knew I was, but wanted the official word. The other reason is because I belong to a surrogacy site and many of the surrogates on there take home pregnancy tests and get positives. They call the parents who are thrilled to hear the news, only to have a negative blood draw because things didn't transpire like they should have; it's a chemical pregnancy where the embryo initially 'took' but then didn't develop. It results in false positives that only a blood test can determine.

Anyway a good level at 14 days post transfer is 60 to 100. Mine was really high at 318. I returned 48 hours later and the doctor wants to see it double, so a good level would have been around 630. Mine was 810. But only the ultrasound reveals what is truly going on.

On January 3rd we had the ultrasound and although I have to admit I was disappointed to see only one little heartbeat on the screen (I was firmly expecting two!) the parents are thrilled. They have never seen a heartbeat before. The biological mom has always received a negative from the initial blood test. It has yet to sink in for them and as the mom said, "I will breathe more easily when you get to 12 weeks."

So the countdown begins for another baby to arrive into the world and help complete a family. Makes baby #9 for me!

And A Merry Christmas To All

2007-12-28T15:15:00.000-06:00

Early on Monday morning, after a VERY successful Christmas play performance skillfully directed and performed by Terry the night before, we left for Carrollton. Terry's parents, Rich and Star, and Terry's grandmother live in this thriving city on the outskirts of Dallas. Generally they make the trek here to San Antonio, but unfortunately back in July of this year, Terry's grandmother, Marie, suffered from the Shingles and they left her very weak, and in almost constant pain. We drove both vehicles to Carrollton, one for the kids, and one for the gifts! And our kids don't even receive that many presents, it's just when you have five kids a few mounts to many.

We stopped at Terry's favourite restaurant, Cracker Barrel but still made good time there. Traffic was light, I think most people had done their travelling during the weekend. The kids could barely be contained and bounced up and down almost all the way there! Star had done a good job decorating the house, something she hasn't had to worry about for a few years. We FINALLY got the 'littles' to bed and then we made sure Santa visited.

My in-laws asked me for specific ideas on what to get me and I asked for a couple of things, one of which was a renewal to our annual San Antonio Zoo membership. They provided that, so on Monday we are heading to the zoo. They also gave me gift cards to Half Price Books, and also to Ross Dress for Less. Terry bought me a new Study Bible, my last one (also purchased by him) was falling apart.

Terry also got what he asked for - an Airport Express so we can play music throughout the house and also get better wireless connection. He also received MSTK3000 Volume 12, and the Ultimate Superman Collector's Edition DVD's.

So all in all, a great Christmas - here is a photo album put together by Terry of the event: Smelker Christmas 2007

Just in time for Christmas

2007-12-21T07:41:00.000-06:00

I have barely blogged in the last two or three weeks, but I have a good excuse - really I do! As I have shared many times on this blog, I am a freelance writer, working most of the time from home. Occasionally though I am asked to take on a project that forces me to work in the 'real' world and be among adults all day long. One such project came up at the end of November. I saw an ad on craigslist for a technical writer with experience in Robohelp and Framemaker. I happen to have experience in both so applied. The ad stated it was a 30 day contract so I knew it was short-term. Within 30 minutes of my email being sent, I received a call, and 4 days later I was driving off to San Marcos a small College town about 45 miles north of San Antonio. The commute has not been bad, I left early enough in the morning that I avoided most traffic and same in the afternoon.

I worked for a small company called DNP Photo. Well, I say small but apparently they are a force to be reckoned with in the world of photolabs, and photo kiosks. I have been in the Info Dev (Information Development) department for the last 30 days working on technical manuals.

Today however is my last day. I have to say this has been one of the most enjoyable contracts I have completed; the people are hard working but easy going. The IT department was on the ball as well. Within an hour of my arrival the first day they had my email set up, all the programs I needed loaded and a phone on my desk.

As I drive home tonight I know I will be thanking God for this opportunity - the extra cash for the Christmas season has come in very handy, and the experience to freshen up on my technical writing skills was wonderful as well.

I Did It (one more time)

2007-12-03T19:02:00.000-06:00

If you read my blog consistently you'll know that I have been a gestational surrogate twice, once in 2005 and again in 2006-2007. The first time I delivered a healthy set of twins (a boy and a girl) and in April 2007 I delivered a healthy, HUGE boy for a second couple. Count so far - 5 of my own kids, 3 kids for other people.

The babies I carry are not genetically related to me - I could never relinquish a part of me. I was a poor student when I gave birth to Warrick, and if I couldn't bear to part with him, there is no way I would give up a child now at a time where we can afford kids. The babies I have carried belong 100% to the parents who are unable, for a variety of reasons, to carry their baby.

I had planned on the last baby being my final pregnancy but several factors changed my mind. First off I saw my OB six weeks after my last delivery and she teased me that I looked so good, I could have another two or three pregnancies with no problem. That same weekend I travelled up to Dallas to meet the owner of the surrogate agency I have worked with since the end of 2003. When I saw Merritt, the owner, she said, "Oh Cori. Please tell me you'll do another surrogacy! I have the sweetest couple who meet all your criteria and they live only about 10 minutes from you!" I called Terry, who truth be known, had been cajoling me to do another surrogacy just days after Jackson arrived. Of course he said yes and we set up a meeting.

On June 1st we met one of the nicest couples we could hope to befriend. They are younger than us and have been trying to conceive for seven years. At the end of the meeting we both agreed to move forward. As with the surrogacy experience patience is the name of the game. We had some delays but this morning the day finally dawned! The doctor retrieved eggs from the mother on Friday, and today we transferred two really good embryos over to me.

Why do I do this? Here's why:
Jackson

And:
Twins Turn Two

Thankful For...

2007-11-22T22:55:00.000-06:00

Before 1994 and my marriage to Terry I had never been part of a Thanksgiving ritual. Thanksgiving, the way it is celebrated in North America is truly a unique tradition. South Africa used to have 'Day of the Vow' that was celebrated on December 16th, but it was abolished a while back; and anyway, it was nothing like Thanksgiving here!

However this is one holiday I have unashamedly and wholeheartedly embraced. Every year I anticipate it and look forward to the cooking and preparing of the meal. This year was no different, although it was just the seven of us. We had planned on going to Carrollton to see Richard and Star (and G-Grandma Marie) but several things came up that prevented the trip. I planned on getting a turkey for our family, but Terry asked me to buy a ham instead. I was glad, I am not a huge fan of turkey anyway, so purchasing a ham was definitely better. One item I do not like, but get for the rest of the family is pumpkin pie. I even sometimes bake them for the family - but this year I just bought one as I was not in the mood to bake something I don't care for!

This afternoon as we sat at our beautifully decorated table (Terry set it and it looked lovely) and went around the table asking everyone what they were thankful for I was reminded again how wonderful it is to live here in the United States; and how thankful I am to have my husband, my kids, my extended family, our church. Most of all though, I am eternally grateful to my Lord Jesus Christ for all that he has done for me, and for all he means to me.

Warrick - Preacher?

2007-11-19T16:46:00.000-06:00

Last night Warrick gave a mini-sermon at the church youth group. He has given a mini-sermon before, but this was the first time we have been invited! Terry looked over at me about one minute into it and said, "It's like looking at a different person, just someone who has invaded our son's body"! And I have to agree - Warrick was awesome. The topic was not allowing the dreams God gave you die, but also walking in His time to fulfill the dream. He used a very powerful quote from Lou Engle a pastor who speaks very compellingly of God's dreams and desires and how He created each one of us to fulfill that purpose.

Although Warrick is studying for a business degree (and I think that is important) I do believe the Lord is calling this young man into the pastoral ministry.

We walked out of the youth service absolutely amazed at this is our oldest son - he never fails to amaze me!

I LOVE my job!!

2007-11-07T18:22:00.001-06:00

I write for several publications, one of them is 'Fiesta', a tourist magazine for San Antonio. Every month I am given two, sometimes three topics to cover. They have ranged from covering tourist spots in South Padre, to the safari park just outside of San Antonio and the Hemisphere. Most recently I have been asked to write about the Alamo. When we first moved here, we took a trip to the Alamo, but Terry and I decided to return there today sans kids in order to refresh memories. Terry took the photos.

It was great to hear once more about the battle of the Alamo and realise that people from all over the world, not just Mexicans and Americans fought in that battle. One thing I had never realised before today was that the battle of the Alamo was never Mexico against America: Texas was still officially a Mexican state, the battle was part of a greater Civil war - it so happened that the defendants of the Alamo were mostly American settlers, invited by the Mexican government to settle there.

Afterwards we walked across the way to the Riverwalk, and wended our way through the downtown Hyatt hotel. The hotel was built over the river and the architect created a Mayan temple feel to the building. Isn't it beautiful?

So, I spent the morning in the company of my husband, perusing a national monument, and I get paid for it! yep - I do indeed LOVE my job!

He's 18

2007-11-02T19:05:00.000-06:00

Standing in the card aisle, trying to pick out a card, I was overwhelmed with emotion when I realised that my 'baby', my oldest child is now officially an adult. He has been adult-like for several years, graduating early, moving out this summer, working, studying at College, but when he needed something legal to be done, we still had to sign papers and give our permission. All that ended on November 1st.

Those who know me best know I am not a person who cries easily - it takes a lot to bring a tear to these eyes! But as I stood in the aisle yesterday I have to admit to choking up a bit at the thought of my son being 18. He can vote, he can get married, (hopefully not for a while still!) he can get drafted(!) and I cannot now put a halt to it, even if I wanted to.

Warrick has matured into a fine young man; filled with wisdom and grace; filled with a love of the Lord and for people. He is remarkably even-tempered, and I have joked that when I grow up I want to be just like him!

I cannot imagine who I would be if it were not for Warrick. I was single when he was born, and he was four when Terry and I married and Terry adopted him. Warrick got the best dad any child could ever want. A lot of who I am was shaped in those early years as a single mother, choosing to look after my baby and putting his needs above my own. I thank the Lord every day for Warrick.

Reflections

2007-10-21T19:32:00.000-05:00

October 21st 1998; 11:10pm (Eastern Time) Garrick Charles Smelker made his QUICK entry into the world. It was a Wednesday night (obviously, he had to follow the pattern of his older siblings) warm for October and I remember calling the midwife and within 20 minutes of her arrival, Garrick slid into this world. He was immediately alert, quiet and attentive to all that was going on around him.

Much has happened since that night. He got to be the baby Jesus in our church play when he was 2 months old, and now this year he will play a wise man in our newest Christmas play; reprising a role Warrick played several years ago. He is funny, articulate, smart, sensitive, an artist, a singer, not much for playing outside (because he gets sweaty!), loves to swim, ride his scooter...all in all a typical nine-year old boy.

He has had a busy birthday weekend and yesterday we took him and several of his friends to the Hondo Corn Maze. We spent 3 hours enjoying the maze in perfect weather, and the kids spent time jumping on hay bales, feeding goats, shooting corn out of cannons and jumping on a huge trampoline.

Then it was back to the house where he opened all the gifts from his friends.

We had given him our gift earlier on in the week, an iPod Nano - the only person in the family so far to receive one. He LOVES it! He especially loves the fact that Terry has loaded Weird Al Yankovic's songs and videos on his iPod.

I look at this kid who is almost as tall as me and I marvel that he is already nine! NINE! Where does the time go? Our family is so blessed to have him - he has enriched our lives immeasurably.

Twins are Two!

2007-10-04T15:42:00.000-05:00

A month ago I made an appointment for Teagan to visit the orthodontist on October 4th. As I made the appointment I kept thinking, "The 4th, Now why does that stick in my mind?" It was not until I received the appointment card and walked to the van that I realised it was the date the twins were born!

This morning I woke up and at a decent time called the twins parents to wish Wendall and Kendell a happy birthday. Their party is this Saturday and we are looking forward to seeing them then. We saw them in August when Wendall and Laurie came to my surprise 40th party with the twins in tow. They are adorable! Into everything and always running in two different directions. Wendall has the biggest blue eyes and a mop of curly blonde hair. Kendell has darker, straight hair and hazel eyes. Wendall looks just like his father and Kendell like her mother.

I can close my eyes and remember the evening they came into the world and the enthralling look of joy and expectation on their parent's faces. Seven years of trying, heartache, disappointments, the roller-coaster ride of infertility that many couples experience all culminated in one joyous moment of seeing the birth of their precious babies. The look on their faces is reward in and of itself and I am so glad that I got to be a part of that.

Happy birthday Wendall and Kendell!

Terry's Idea of Heaven

2007-09-24T15:08:00.000-05:00

I am not an artist - I make no claims to be one. I love art, I can appreciate paintings, photos and the like, but when it comes to how they are produced, you lose me. Terry on the other hand loves all things art - technical, creative etc. We'll be travelling down the freeway and he'll say something like, "Did you see that billboard we just passed?" Yeah, I saw it, I checked it for grammar and spelling as we went by. He however will say, "That font is the [insert font name here] and it was used by [insert name here] when he/she/they did the ad for [insert company here]"

He will show me photos that are reversed (I think that is the right term). I try to look interested, really I do, but unless the dog is on the ceiling, or the cars are driving upside down, I probably would never be the wiser. But I am glad there are the Terry's in the world - they make our world a happier, brighter and altogether prettier place!

Like any other professional field out there, you need to keep abreast of changes, trends and what the future holds. For artists like Terry 'the' conference to attend is Photoshop World. Unfortunately finances have dictated that he has only attended one conference, and that was back in 2003.

Last night he was watching some online demonstrations and I overheard the announcement for Photoshop World 2008. It is to be held from April 1, 2008 and at Terry's favourite vacation town. My ears perked up at that! About a month ago he had made mention that he really wants to attend one of their conventions again (and in all fairness I did fly to Michigan for a writer's conference. I was one of the speakers, but I still benefitted from listening to and talking to fellow writers.) I told him to start making plans to attend and to tack on a few days before or after the conference to see Mickey at Disney World.

He's already making plans!

Christmas Already??

2007-09-24T08:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Terry and I started the auditioning process for the children's Christmas play! Can you believe we have to start thinking about this already?! Last year the news that the kids were to do a play was thrust on us at the last minute and we had a month to pull a full production together! The beauty is we did it, and the performance was the best so far for our fledgling church.

This year Terry is director and lead for the play; so he decided to do one he has performed in before, called A Star is Born. It follows a group of children preparing for a big Christmas television production. When Sophia the actress comes to play the role of Mary, the director and the other actors try to help her understand that the "star" of any Christmas production is Jesus Christ.

When we performed it several years ago at our last church, Warrick was one of the Wisemen, tripping his way across the stage and being a wiseguy. We tried to persuade Garrick to try out for the role this time, but he is having none of it. Hayley auditioned and read well, so it will be interesting to see if she finally gets picked for a part. The last thing we need is to be accused of playing favourites if we do choose her to have a speaking part.

We have one more round of auditions before posting who plays what and then the rehearsals begin!

College Bound

2007-09-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

Well, after much debate and research Warrick has settled on a college to attend. He decided to do online classes (I think this is defintiely the wave of the future) but he wanted a college where his diploma/degree does not have 'online' in the college line. Makes sense, because even though he is getting the same instruction as students who actually attend class, there is still some stigma attached to online classes, as though they are somehow 'less'. Personally I think a person who gets his/her degree online demonstrates an extraordinary amount of self control and discipline. You have to make yourself sit down and get a class assignment done otherwise you don't get credit.

Warrick will be getting his associates degree in Business to start with - he is choosing to do it in 15 months! So by December 2008 he will have the associates.

Congratulations Warrick - we are PROUD of you!

To Those Pet Owners Who Decide They Can No Longer Look After Pet

2007-09-07T07:26:00.001-05:00

Spend any time on boards that advertise pets and you'll see a recurrent theme: "We have a new baby/job/another pet and just don't have the time for Fido/Fluffy that we used to have."

Someone posted this ad this morning on craigslist:

HELP NEEDED ASAP:

Please help!!!! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an agility dog, we have been notified by the breeder that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!!!

We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children into rescue this weekend!

They are described as:

One male - His name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained & gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon.

One female - Her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy & can be affectionate. Gets along well with other little girls & little boys but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training-shouldn't take long at all.

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them; that is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy.

I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here!!! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

Tortuous Times

2007-09-06T15:59:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I enter a torture chamber and the worst part is when I’m done, I will pay the bill!

It all started Wednesday when I saw my doctor for a checkup.
“When was your last mammogram, Mrs. Smelker?” he enquired.
“What do you mean last?” I was startled. Don’t all the commercials on TLC recommend you get an annual mammogram beginning at age 40? I had spent my entire life trying to avoid 40 solely for this reason, now he’s asking when my last one was?

“Well, I generally recommend my patients get their first at 35, and then one every couple of years until 40 and then an annual one thereafter.”
“Good thing you weren’t my doctor five years ago,” I said with a light laugh. His face demonstrated his total lack of amusement.
“In order for me to clear you for another surrogacy you have to get one.”

I called the clinic when I got home to schedule the appointment. “I can fit you in on Thursday” proclaimed the impossibly chirpy, probably 20-something who has another two decades to go before SHE worries about mammograms.
“You mean Thursday next week?”
“No. Thursday tomorrow, or even this Friday.”
Ok, right there that tells me something. I had to schedule an appointment a month in advance to have my baby and I was already in labour! But the mammogram technician could see me the next day??
“Um, Friday will be fine, I guess.”

The nurse assured me that it really isn’t that big a deal. Personally I don’t see the need for the darn thing in the first place, but I am an obedient person (hah!!) I know my ‘girls’ are fine, no lumps, no painful areas because I have them examined on an almost daily basis by a certain member of this house, who shall remain nameless.

I’m not buying ‘it really isn’t that big a deal’. What if the mammogram machine is like my daughter’s Shrinki-Dink? You know the machine — you create an object, you put it in the machine, wait for a few minutes, coincidentally the same amount of time my ‘girls’ will be in the mammogram machine — and voila, the object is miniaturized. What if I go in one size, and come out a triple-nothing? Would I still love myself? Would my husband still love me? Even more importantly, is there a return policy on all those bras I bought last week?

The nurse also informed me that I was not to wear perfume, or deodorant. Huh? It's not bad enough I am stripped of my dignity, I have to smell bad too while I am examined by some post-adolescent spotty boy? And who is the sadist who thought this machine up in the first place? I’m guessing it was a person of the male persuasion who grew up with some kind of complex and decided to take it out on all women by squishing them as tightly as possible all in the name of good health and science. Where’s the machine to test for testicular cancer? Oh d’uh! — there isn’t one!

So, I have one last night to look at my pre-mammogram ‘girls’ before stepping to the rack and paying for the privilege of having a technician try to squish the life out of me.

I think I need a coffee, no make that an espresso. Wait! Make it a double!

San Antonio's Pet Population

2007-09-03T10:14:00.000-05:00

Last year in June, iMuse (AKA my Hubby Terry) blogged regarding the sheer number of strays in San Antonio. There are several shelters here in town, many of them small, privately owned and struggling to make ends meet; several no-kill shelters and yet others that have a 48-72 hour hold on animals before putting them to sleep.

Even with organisations like SNAP, and assistance from many local vets to help low income families spay and neuter their pets, the number of stray cats and dogs is staggering. Unfortunately here in San Antonio there is a very prevelant attitude of machismo, defined by Merriam as: a strong sense of masculine pride :an exaggerated masculinity, AND an exaggerated or exhilarating sense of power or strength. I have talked to several 20-something young men about neutering their animal (cat or dog, but most often their dog), and they all get a pained look on their face, crouch protectively and say, "Oh no. I am not putting my animal through that!" One young man said to me that since he watched One Night With The King he will NEVER neuter an animal because he saw eunuchs in the movie. He seems to think (as do many men) that the same feelings the eunuchs have are the same his animal will have! It is so frustrating dealing with that mentality; even more so since he saw how little Drake's neutering affected him. The kitten came home from his surgery and bounded around the house that same evening.

I 'preach' spaying and neutering wherever I go because every animal we have in the house now (except for the snake) has been picked up off the street - literally. Remember my blog about Puma? Terry almost ran him down, and the kitten was so petrified he sat in four lanes of traffic quaking.

On Friday morning I met a woman who lives not far from me and she was carrying a small kitten. She had just found it in her yard, and decided that she would keep him. (Thank God for people like her!) I didn't think too much of it, although I mentioned to Terry that evening that she had found this kitten. On Saturday evening Hayley and I were driving home from church, along the same street and a little black streak bolted across the street, right in front of my van. I skidded to a stop and Hayley and I got out and tried to catch the tiny feline. I briefly touched it before it was off again. We drove the last 1/4 mile home and told Terry about this kitten.

On Sunday morning I was driving back from church, along the same street, and about 3 houses down from where we'd seen the kitten the night before when deja vu struck! Ony this time it was an off-white kitten, and it bolted across the street into the drainage ditch. I stopped the van, and caught it. This little male looks like he is siamese, with big blue eyes, and traditional markings. I brought him home even though I promised Terry I would not bring any more animals into the house!

Terry and the kids returned home about 2 hours later. In that time the kitten had already made himself at home. Drake and Puma, our other two kittens (Drake is now 6 months old, Puma 4 months) had given him a bath, played with him and were curled up on the couch with him. Chloe, the old lady of the group gave him her usual disdainful look and strolled away. The kids were understandably excited about a new arrival. We had all missed Cody, the kitten we only had for four days so much. But I wasn't sure about Terry's reaction. He immediately pulled out some kitten food (I had an extra can left) and fed him. As the kitten was eating, Terry looked at me and said, "His name is Pewter." His fur is almost the exact colour of pewter. So, now we have Puma and Pewter.

As happy as I am to have another kitten (I have been teased that if I were not married, I would be the stereotypical cat lady!) I am distressed at how he came into our lives. It is no coincidence that in the span of three days three different kittens were spied in the same area. My bet is someone dumped these kittens in our neighborhood, not caring what would happen to them once they were abandoned. At least two of the three are now safe. And there are now three animals (Drake, Puma and Pewter) who will never be able to reproduce and add to the pet population problem that is rampant here in San Antonio.

What a sweet gesture

2007-08-31T07:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in the post I received this letter:

Dear Smelker Family:

Dr. Ben Kyzar of Community Pet Health Center has sent a generous donation in memory of Serena to the College of Veterinary Medicine & Biomedical Sciences at Texas A&M University. This thoughtful contribution was directed to suport the Class of '99 Endowed Scholarship Fund.

Financing the cost of a professional education can be challenging. Tuition costs have caused a tremendous financial burden on our students with an average debt upon graduation of over $79,000. Every dollar makes a difference to these dedicated young men and women.

We cannot think of a more fitting tribute to a faithful companion. As animal lovers, we can fully sympathsize with your loss. At the same time, we greatly appreciate the benefits from pet memories which will ultimately mean better health care for our animal friends.

May Serena always remain a beautiful memory for you.

Sincerely,

H. Richard Adams DVM, PhD
Dean

O.J. Woytek, Jr., DVM
Senior Director of Development

Nothing can replace Serena - she was a special cat, but to know that our vet is so thoughful, generous and kind just reinforces our decision that he was the best choice for our animals.

This is why I chose to be a Surrogate

2007-08-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

I'm So Excited!

2007-08-28T15:37:00.000-05:00

When we made the decision to move to San Antonio it was because one of our friends (and a man for whom I worked) suggested it. Initially Terry and I thought of selling our home and moving to Tampa Bay. After some reflection and job searching in Tampa (for Terry) that didn't turn up anything, we made the long trek south.

A few months after moving here, we discovered Warrick's wrestling coach is VP of a company that Terry had adored from afar. NewTek produces a software program called Lightwave that Terry bought many years ago and even used at our old church. Pat, the wrestling coach told us the company was looking for a graphic artist, and the rest is history. Terry was hired by NewTek in May 2004. He has loved working there. The 'offices' such as they are, are located in a big warehouse. The central hub of the warehouse has a drum set, several guitars, a pool table, video games, seating for everyone, and even a tent for the kids to play in. Scooters are scattered throughout the building, making it that much easier to access the free chocolate, hotdogs and soda.

However, we all know from experience that no job is perfect, although this was close! NewTek tends to pay below the San Antonio average, and it was time for Terry to start looking around for something that came close to paying the normal pay scale for his qualifications. About 3 months ago he applied with a couple of different contract companies and both of them set up interviews.

Then a friend of ours from church, Robert asked me how Terry was doing. It is quite common for people to not see Terry if they come to the second Sunday service because he teaches in that time slot. I told him Terry was good, but job hunting. "Hmmm. Tell him to call me," Robert said. Robert is an architect, and owns Luna Architecture, a very successful company about 10 minutes from our house. Two years ago he decided that he wasn't busy enough with the architectural side, playing in the church band and totally gutting and remodeling a home for his family, that he would add another challenge to his life! Enter media301, a 3D visualisation and graphics company that he founded specifically to market to other companies. Well, they have grown so much that they need a Senior Graphic Designer. Robert and Terry have worked together on a church project, so they know each other reasonably well, and Robert knows the work Terry can produce.

Yesterday afternoon Robert took Terry out for lunch and formally laid a job offer on the table that Terry accepted right away. It was a no-brainer really, they'd been talking for about a month. Terry knew NewTek could not pay more than they are right now, but he needed to increase his earning power. He gets that with his new position.

So, on Tuesday morning, the day after Labour Day, Terry will hop in his little Honda and drive the few miles (no highway driving either!) to his new position!

I am so proud of my hubby! He has had only two jobs his entire adult life - Ford Motor Company, and NewTek, so this is a new adventure for him!

Smelker Smalls Start School

2007-08-27T08:34:00.001-05:00

Backpacks are packed, lunches made and kids sent off to school. I drove the three younger ones to school this morning, and unloaded their scooters from the van. This afternoon I will walk down to the school (with the dog) and fetch them. It's good excerise and we look forward to the walks home. I then returned and picked up Teagan for her first day. From tomorrow she will take the bus to school but for this first day we wanted to drive her, especially since she missed the orientation on Saturday because of Hayley's birthday party.

Carson came blearily downstairs this morning and whined, "But it's still night-time outside." No more sleeping in until 7:30 or 8:00 for this boy - 6:15 came all too soon for them. By the time they finished breakfast and brushed their teeth it was daylight outside though.

So begins another year of homework, plays, safety patrol duty (for Hayley) choir, parent-teacher conferences, school trips and volunteering (I am on the PTA this year, ostensibly just to do the newsletter, but we'll see how many more things I am 'volunteered' to do!) Each season is bitter-sweet; I have looked forward to having the house to myself again, to enjoy the solitude and silence, but I also miss the hurly-burly of my four, plus all the neighborhood kids.

Here's to a great year for all my friends and kids!

Summer comes to an end

2007-08-26T21:53:00.001-05:00

I love the halycon days of summer: the long evenings, the kids playing outside, the endless afternoons spent at the pool, the sound of the trampoline being bounced on, the sheer number of snacks the kids eat on any given day, the bugs, the grass that needs to be mowed every other day..but I digress. However, all good things, as a wise man once said, come to an end, and so tomorrow I have to set my alarm clock and chivvy kids off to school. Teagan is nervous because tomorrow is her first day at middle school, the other kids though are just excited. They have been ready for about two weeks now to return.

It has been a good summer, with many an afternoon spent at the Northern Hills pool where the kids made new friends, and played with old ones too. Their dark tans are in direct proportion to how blond they became this summer - Hayley wins that contest hands down - the girl would be right at home on a Southern Californian beach.

Summer marks my birthday, as well as Hayley's; and this year she chose to have her party at the pool (last year she opted for the ice rink). As you can see by the photo, the girl is in her natural surroundings.

We also got to celebrate an important event in Warrick's life. He walked the stage as a high chool graduate. Walking the stage was not that big a deal for him now, but we told him that one day he would look back and probably regret not walking it. He complied and even though he said it was no big deal, we made it a big deal! And I do think he will look back one day and be happy that he made the decision to put on the cap and gown.

So now we have one high school graduate, one daughter in middle and three left in elementary - where did the time go??

Hayley is 10!!!

2007-08-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

In the stillness of the morning light I woke before the rest of the house and thought about this day 10 years ago. Hayley Claire Smelker made her entry into the world, four days before her due date, the only one of our children to come early. I remember so clearly waking up at 6:15am with a contraction and calling downstairs to Terry informing him that he should not go to work. Instead we called Star to look after Teagan (Warrick elected to come with us). By the time Star arrived at the house 45 minutes later, I was so ready to go to the birthing center!! Driving in rush hour traffic with contractions on top of one another is an experience I never want to repeat! We got to the birthing center at about 7:50am and Hayley came quietly into the world at 8:06am, weighing a good 7lbs 12oz and measuring 20 inches. She was the quietest baby of them all, although that has now changed drastically!

We nicknamed her, 'Helpful Hayley' because she is the most helpful of all our kids. She loves to help in the kitchen and is becoming a deft hand at cooking. She is a stubborn son of a gun though! Terry and I joke that Hayley is 'mini-me'. She loves to read, she does not take any guff from anyone and she loves to swim, dive, jump on the trampoline and play with all the animals we have.

I had to wake the kids up a little early this morning as I had to work at the school this morning (on the PTA this year, long story!) Hayley was understandably excited to come downstairs and find a gift on the table from us; her own jewellery maker. Her party is on Saturday afternoon at the pool, and we are all looking forward to that.

My life is immeasurably enriched because of who Hayley is and I am grateful that she is here.

Baby versus Cobra

2007-08-16T19:34:00.001-05:00

And Steve Irwin got into trouble when he took Baby Bob into the croc pen??

And I Left My Camera Behind!!!

2007-08-15T12:07:00.000-05:00

About nine months ago I was approached by the founder of Faithwriters and asked to speak at the first annual conference. The venue for this conference was Livonia, Michigan. Livonia was picked because it so happens that is where the founder lives!

I accepted the invitation to speak and I am really glad I did. I flew in on Thursday afternoon and on Friday morning hooked up with so many of my old friends. And man, how I wished I had brought my camera! It was so great to see Christy (who confessed she reads my blog but NEVER comments!), Darlene, Heather, and Cheri. Then on Sunday I spent the afternoon with Shanita and her family.

I drove by the last house we lived in before we left, drove past all the lakes we'd swum in. I realised that although I miss my friends, and that even though I felt nostalgic when driving, I am right where God wants me - here in San Antonio.

The conference began on Friday night with a dinner and an informal get-to-know you time. The real work began on Saturday morning with the first conference speaker, Sally Stuart. It was good to hear the voice of experience give a nuts and bolts talk on publishing and its world. Faithwriters is an online community of writers and one instrumental person in the community is Australian Deb Porter. She has made great inroads in the Australian Christian community and even has a radio show 'down under'. There were many other speakers (including moi!) to entertain and educate. Seeing this was the first conference, it was only one day, but the talk is next year the conference will span two days with break out workshops and the like.

Sunday morning was a real highlight for me as I took a trip down memory lane and attended the church I called home for my 10 years in Michigan. Brightmoor will always hold a special place in my heart as will the friends I made there. When Terry and I attended there we were involved in so many different areas and we were well-known in the church. So when I walked in on Sunday it was not unusual to have a person walk past me, wave say, "Hi Cori" walk on for 2 or 3 paces, spin around and yell "CORI!" It has been four years since I was last there, but in many ways it felt like I had never left.

I flew back to San Antonio early on Monday morning in almost record time. I had a stop in Dallas and I literally walked off one plane and boarded the next and we took off.

Life now goes on as usual, with editorial deadlines, kids to entertain and keep busy until school starts again. I appreciated my four days away, I loved visiting my friends, but it is good to be home.

Birthday Weekend

2007-08-08T23:16:00.001-05:00

Whew! I have been so busy getting all my deadlines met because I am leaving for Detroit in less than eight hours (speaking at a writing conference), but I wanted to blog about my lovely birthday weekend. I was completely and utterly blessed and overwhelmed with good things!

First of all we arrived at the Watermark Hotel, a four-star hotel and we were were warmly welcomed by the staff before going to our room on the 6th floor. Everything was top notch! Wendall and Laurie surprised us by arranging to have chocolate covered strawberries on hand. There was also a beautiful gift basket filled with yummy goodies for us to enjoy! We stayed in the room all night Friday...

Saturday we donned swim suits and enjoyed the beauty of the rooftop pool and hot tub, all the while watching the ebb and flow of people on the Riverwalk below us. I had been itching to see "The Bourne Ulitmatum" so we took in a matinee before heading back for a nap and then hitting the pool again.

Wendall and Laurie had invited us to a five star restuarant for dinner. I can highly recommend Las Canarias! The food was divine and the company entertaining. We had a wonderful time before walking back over the river to our hotel.

Sunday morning - I am now officially 40 years old! Tell me - how does 40 feel? I certainly feel no different! Unlike many others I know I haven't sunk into a depression wondering where my life has gone. For the most part I feel I am exactly where God wants me, doing what He has given me to do.

We checked out of the hotel at noon, and then drove 30 minutes to a special event. A custom built home was built out in the country and the builder decided to open the home to the public for a price. However all proceeds went to the San Antonio Food Bank. We might not have made it a priority, but a friend of ours, Chris Voss, who is a fourth generation iron craftsman was commissioned to create all the iron work for the house, and he asked Terry to do some of the designs. The house, worth 2.9 million apparently does have a buyer! Pity I didn't have three million just lying around! I would have bought the house on the spot.

After we left there, Terry suggested we take a scenic drive into the Hiil Country. His little Honda is so zippy and with the sun roof open the wind creates just the right atmosphere. We had a pleasant hour drive in the country before heading back to kids and responsibilty!

Little did I know the drive was just a diversion. Terry, the sneaky man that he is had planned a surprise birthday party for me! I was completely taken in - a first for Terry. He's never been able to pull a party off before. I was completely bamboozled because I had planned the entire weekend, from the hotel stay, to getting the tickets for the home tour that I had no clue he was plotting behind my back! Opening my front door and having about 20 people yell SURPRISE can be a little disconcerting! Janelle, our sitter for the weekend even arranged for the guests to park around the corner and up the hill so I wouldn't suspect anything.

So, I am now 40. I think I am entering the best years of my life!

Weekend Antics

2007-07-31T18:11:00.000-05:00

I posted pictures to my Mac page, but thought I would blog a bit about the weekend we had. On Friday night I took the kids to The Magik Theatre for a delightful night of Schoolhouse Rock. Afterwards we hung out at the Hemisfair Park playground before driving home.

The following day we decided to return to the park because there is so much to see and do there. We explored the Mexican Cultural Institute and spent some time playing in the fountains. I didn't realise there were so many lovely water features all around San Antonio.

On Monday night we went bowling. The Brunswick Thousand Oaks Bowl offers a Bowl for a Buck Monday and Wednesday nights from 9:30PM to midnight. Boy, was it busy. I am glad I decided to go ahead of time and place our names on a waiting list. But by 9:50 we were on a lane and having loads of fun.

Today the kids and I went to The Witte Museum. This museum offers free entrance on Tuesday afternoons, and again, is it ever popular! We parked at the zoo because the museum currently only has 75 spaces, and we took the little train over, although we could have walked. A good time was had by all as we explored the habitat of dinos; built a pyramid, and explored the power air has. Teagan and Hayley also got to ride the Skycycle, a weighted bicycle that is propelled on a tightrope. Carson was all ready to do it too but his legs wouldn't reach the pedals (although he made the height restriction).

My Backyard this Morning

2007-07-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

The kids wanted to know if they could use their tubes and go swimming!

Can't It Head West?

2007-07-24T22:08:00.000-05:00

Can't the rain head out to the west? California is experiencing drought or so I hear, meanwhile we have gone barely a day without precipitation. This has become my new wardrobe staple.

And this is what the sky looks like most of the time!

I know I should not complain seeing that last year we had all sorts of water restrictions and the Edwards Aquifer (where San Antonio pulls its water) was running very low. (This photo is of the San Antonio River downtown, part of the water system.)

I can't even cut my grass at the moment! Well, that is not strictly true - I cut my front lawn and side lawn on Monday, just a scant five days since the last time. But my back yard is flooded. There has been so much rain my grass is waterlogged and there are pools of water everywhere. Of course the grass hasn't stopped growing, and it's amazing that in one week it could grow so fast! I just need two or three days without rain so the yard can dry a bit. Yesterday I hoped against hope that we would not have rain - no luck; and today although the morning was sunny the afternoon brought with it a rip snorter of a thnderstorm that lasted a good two to three hours. Flash flood warnings are now almost commonplace because we hear them pretty much every other day.

My kids are even getting sick of it - mostly because I have told them they can't play in the back right now, so Hayley asked me check the forecast. Doesn't look promising: for the next 10 days there is a 60% chance of rain every day, and the temperatures are low for San Antonio at this time of year. We will not get above 87 for the foreseeable future.

Anyone in California want to come and bottle up some of this rain and take it back with them?

R.I.P.

2007-07-18T10:36:00.000-05:00

On Garrick's first birthday we decided we were ready for a new pet. We had been a petless home for a while, and we missed the antics of a kitten. I drove with the 4 kids to the Dearborn Animal Shelter and watched about 20 kittens at eating time to see how a kitten would react to little ones. One kitten was so complacent and placid that when Teagan, who was three at the time picked her up while she was eating, she just placed one cheek on Teagan's and purred. Serena came home with us.

The kids treated her like a baby doll, even going so far as to put a bonnet on her, and place her in a stroller and take her through the house. She suffered these indignities with good grace; and if you were to put your ear to her chest you'd hear a rumbling purr. She knew no strangers and would jump into any lap. Christmas was her favourite season, and as soon as the Christmas tree came out you could not budge her. The tree skirt would have to be fully vacuumed after the season was done! She would pull gifts out of the way in order to lie under the tree.

Serena was not a small cat - her breed, Maine Coons, are known for being large, and she certainly fit the bill. Her paws were massive, and like all Maine Coons she had plenty of thick fur, and two cinnamon stripes of colour running down her back. Her big bright eyes reflected her sunny disposition.

She was born at the shelter on August 12th 1999. In July 2001 she was hit by a car (we think) one day after she escaped from the house. She was missing for almost 14 days and was more than likely hit the day she escaped. We prayed daily she would return. She did - a very injured, and very thin Serena pulled herself to our back door which is where Warrick found her. She had a broken hip, a broken femur, a broken tibia - in short she was a total mess. We could have chosen to put her to sleep then, but instead opted for the very expensive surgery to repair as much of the damage as we could. Terry and I both felt it would be grossly unfair to put her down after she spent 14 days dragging her broken rear end to get home.

In 2003 we moved to San Antonio and she made the long 4-day trip in the van with us. She went camping with us, stayed at a hotel with us (we smuggled her in) and as ever, was calm, placid and accepting of her new quarters.

Through the years other cats have come and gone in the Smelker household, we have moved numerous times, but Serena has been very secure in her place in the house - she was the matriarch and she knew she wasn’t going anywhere. She kept the other cats in line, and was always quietly in charge.

However in the last 18 months we had seen signs of deterioration in Serena. She lost two upper canine teeth, she was gaining weight (something she already had enough of), was no longer able to jump on the back of the couch, or jump up to get water from the sink (for a long time she would ONLY drink fresh running water!) The vet put her on a restricted diet, and we had surgery done on her teeth, but there was no appreciable improvement.

Then this last week for no apparent reason she really seemed to struggle to get around, and it was obvious to Terry and I that although she wanted to walk the pain was almost too much for her. We made the very hard, almost unbearable decision to take Serena in this morning to be put to sleep.

We will miss our big girl so much – we had almost 8 years with her; 8 good years, 8 years of appreciating her unique personality and love. Serena loved people, and her solid presence was a comfort to us all in rough times.

Rest in Peace Serena

Born: August 12th 1999
Died: July 18th 2007

This photo was taken this morning as I brushed her for the last time.

Happy News??

2007-07-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

For the last two years I have had my home page set to Fox News because out of all the main news channels it is the most balanced and fair. However in the last two weeks or so, I have become disturbed at the stories they have chosen to place on their front page. Now, it's not their fault, the information they disseminate is important, timely and often gruesome; they are just doing their job. But I am disturbed at what makes headlines.

Today for example this story made headlines: Girl on X? Houston Police found a video posted online that shows a young girl (maybe 4 or 5) apparently high on Ecstasy, and HER MOTHER GAVE IT TO HER!!

How about this one? Mom Blames Great Sale... A parent ran into a grocery store to 'grab some meat' but got caught up in the sales and left her 11-month old in the car - in Florida - in the middle of summer!

During the weekend, this one was posted: Girl Buried Alive. India has long had a problem with families disposing of their girls, but this really highlights the depravity of humankind that an infant would be buried alive. Thank God for the farmer!

Where is the sanity? Where has common sense gone? When did running into the store to grab some meat beat out the welfare of your child? When is it ever all right to dispose of a child because she is the wrong gender? When is it ever OK to deliberately place your child's life in danger by giving her a controlled (and illegal) substance, and to then laugh at her when she loses control of her body?

There are two tragedies at play here. One is that these children are being harmed. The other is that thousands of couples all over the world are childless and would do just about anything to have a child. I personally have met several of them and helped two of them. Can you imagine the outrage they feel when they read stories like the ones posted? Of course we all feel (or should) feel outrage, but for those people desperate to have children this must be a real slap in the face.

And where are we, the body of Christ? I find it terribly ironic that as Christians we are so quick to point fingers at the world and say, "Look at that! It's disgusting." Of course it is, it's the world remember? How else are they going to behave? They are "under the sway of the evil one" according to the Word of God. But what influence can we exert to stop this kind of behaviour? A friend of ours, Bob Mitton posted this on his blog a short while back: Bloom Where You Planted, a very good reminder that when the church moves out of a neighborhood, there are major repercussions.

But seeing I cannot change the entire world by myself, I am going to work where I am. I am going to continue to try and bless childless couples for as long as I can.

Oh, and by the way, I decided to change my home page to something a little more upbeat - Happy News!

Two Events Today

2007-07-09T21:18:00.000-05:00

Teagan's braces came off today! She has had them on since April 2006 and it is amazing to see the difference in her teeth. She got her retainer, and has to wear it except when eating. She was so excited to get them removed. Of course she is not done yet - this was just Phase 1 of what will likely be a staple in her life for the next few years. She will have to start Phase 2 in about 12-18 months (once all her baby teeth fall out).

The other event was the swim banquet that heralded the end of the official swim season for the team. It was a good season for our team - as mentioned earlier in the blog, we won Divisionals - first time in 20 years. Then several of the kids went on to swim at All Stars where our team shone. Here are the girls displaying their trophies. Teagan is also displaying brace-free teeth!

And just so that the boys don't get forgotten I pulled this photo of the 4 kids from our time spent at Disney World in May. From left to right it is Hayley, Carson, Garrick and Teagan.

Tag! I'm It!

2007-07-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

Earlier on this week a friend of ours, Bob 'tagged' me. Generally the 'taggee' has to answer a series of questions (in this case there was just one) and then tag someone else. Thanks Bob! Actually I enjoyed the experience as the question did make me think about my answers and why I truly feel the way I do.

So here are my answers to "Five Things I Dig About Jesus".

1. I dig that Jesus always keeps His Word. Psalm 138:2 in the NKJV says, “You have magnified your Word above all your name.” I dig that He will ALWAYS keep His Word – both written and spoken. That fact alone brings the Word of God into a new perspective for me – His Word is alive. There truly is power in the Word.

2. I dig that Jesus is ever-faithful. Even though my world may collapse around me; even though I face challenges that seem too much to bear; even though I cannot rely on the love of those around me, I know He is there. I am comforted in knowing that if and when I face those times and I react in a less than stellar fashion and allow doubts to creep in that He will remain faithful to me according to 2 Timothy 2:13.

3. I dig that Jesus left the Holy Spirit. Because of the Holy Spirit I have the power to overcome sin, to witness, to preach, to intercede for others and myself. I dig that He leads me into all truth, and that He will tell me what is yet to come (John 16:13). I dig how the Holy Spirit is there to bring glory to Jesus, and therefore is my example in all things.

4. I dig that Jesus treated all earnest seekers with love, compassion and respect. In a time when women were not well regarded, Jesus treated women better than anyone else. Jesus spoke to people who were considered unclean. He talked to a foreign woman and gave her the ‘crumbs’ she asked for. It is comforting to this woman to know that in Christ there is neither “male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.” Gal 3:28.

5. I dig that in Jesus I am a child of God. Because I am a child of the Most High I have His favour, His Blessings, and everything that Jesus has. I am most grateful for the absolute sacrifice He made to give me that. I know I will probably never know the full extent of that sacrifice with my finite human comprehension. It’s like falling in love on a daily basis – always something new to learn and appreciate about my redemption.

So, now I have to pass this favour onto other people. Well, Jen and Sue consider yourselves tagged!

'Unplugged' Week

2007-07-03T08:59:00.000-05:00

Last year we started a new 'tradition' in the Smelker household, but towards the end of the school year it went by the wayside, but is now back in force. Once a month, for 7 days the TV does not go on, video games and computer games are not played, and even Terry and I are only allowed on the computers to work.

The first three or four times we had these weeks Carson asked why they were being punished! We explained to all the kids that this was not a punishment. We wanted them to realise there is more to life than the electronic eye and the games that can be played on it.

And then we discovered something - even though there are 3 TV's in the house (although one is in our bedroom and the kids don't have access to it), the kids fought over who was watching what when; or fight over who won a game, or who 'cheated' (how can you cheat at a video game?) and I was constantly running interference between them. But the week the TV and everything else is off, there is peace in the home! So much for TV being the great 'electronic babysitter'! Now that doesn't mean I don't like TV - I appreciate some of the shows on TV, some of them are funny, and educational, however when the kids fight about which channel to watch all perks fly out of the window as far as I am concerned.

Right now the boys are playing on the piano and the girls are upstairs colouring, and drawing. Board games are out and being played and not one angry word has crossed a lip this morning.

Divisionals last Saturday

2007-07-02T08:51:00.001-05:00

Our little swimming team received this email from the secretary of the swimming club last night:

"For those of you who haven't heard, the Nadadores won the divisonal meet yesterday. Girls finished in 1st place and boys in 4th for an overall 1st place finish. Mr. Dewlen tells us that he thinks it's been 20 years since the Nadadores took divisionals. Way to go!"

I am so proud of our team. We only lost to one team during the regular season and that was mostly due to the size of the other team - they had over 130 swimmers to our 80, which makes a difference when 1st through 6th places are scored for points.

Neither of my girls placed first in their races, although Hayley did take third in her freestyle and fourth in breast stroke, so I am very proud of her. I was a timer for the races, and was in the lane next to her when she was swimming her freestlye - I even had her timer cheering for her, although the timer was from another team! We swam at the brand-new facility and the best part of it is the walls come up and allow for great cross breezes, so even though it was a hot day, the heat was never unbearable inside.

Now for the rest of the summer we will sleep in (something we haven't been able to do with the swim practices) and hang out at the pool and the park. A friend of mine is moving at the end of the month and she very kindly gave me her season pass to the Majik Theater - a children's theater here in town, so we will be able to watch two different plays before the season ends. I am looking forward to that as well.

Floods in San Antonio

2007-06-29T19:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a wet and soggy day - very wet and soggy! Today Fox News posted a couple of photos taken in San Antonio. The one posted here is of 281 which is the main north-south freeway that runs through the city. We are located about 10 minutes east of the intersection.

Our sub was relatively unscathed (we live on high ground) but there were plenty of roads around us that were closed yesterday and part of today.

Sun greeted us this morrning, and although there has been more rain forecast for our region, I think it is slightly less than what we had in the last 24 hours.

Possibly the Wettest Summer?

2007-06-27T08:41:00.000-05:00

I suppose I shouldn't be complaining about all the rain we've received so far this summer since last year the summer was so dry we had watering bans - but I have to cut my grass once a week at the moment! Last year if we mowed three times the entire summer that was a lot, this summer already I have mowed more times than I can count. And it takes me 90 minutes just to mow, and I haven't even started edging yet!

The rain has sometimes put a crimp in the family activities - there have been a couple of times I've loaded the kids up for the pool and then the deluge starts. And here in San Antonio that's what we get, a deluge. The Weather Channel has issued several flash flood warnings for San Antonio. We have learnt to take those seriously. Every year the news reports of some unfortunate soul who disregarded the warnings, attempts to ford a road (either on foot or in their car) and they get whisked away by the water. Invariably the story does not have a happy ending.

On a happier note though, the girls are almost done with the summer league swim team. This weekend marks the final meet. If either girl places in the top 5 of their division then they go onto a regional event, but frankly at this point I am not sure either one will place in the top 5. Competition has been stiff this year and with Hayley not competing for one school year she lost some ground. Next year I think she will fare better.

And just because I didn't want a text-only blog, here is a photo of the two newest members of the feline family - Drake and Puma relaxing together.

Spoilt?? No - Not us!

2007-06-21T21:35:00.000-05:00

Last week Lauri, the first mom I carried for, called me to set up a barbeque date for our families. I haven't seen the twins in a few months so it will be good to see them again. At the end of the conversation she mentioned that she and Wendall wanted to treat us to a weekend away! He uses a business card for all his practice purchases and they have accumulated quite a few points. As a result they are giving us a weekend at either one of these downriver hotels: Watermark Hotel or at La Mansion. They are both four-star hotels! Here are a couple of photos of the Watermark guest suites:

And here is one of the guest suite at La Mansion (these are just the standard rooms!)

Now Terry and I are looking for a weekend we can get away. I think the weekend after July 4th will be our best bet - just imagine, two whole nights away with no kids... just think of the fun we can have! We have to decide which one we want to stay at - La Mansion is known for its stately, olde world elegance whereas the Watermark is almost brand-new. They have completely different atmospheres - choices, choices.

On a completely different front - once more the Smelker family have become victims to cuteness! Last Thursday Terry left for work and 5 minutes later he was back. I happened to be outside sweeping when he pulled in. "What did you forget?" I asked.
"Nothing," He said coming around the van, "Instead I found this." He was holding a little black kitten!

Apparently he was about to go under the overpass to get onto the freeway when he saw this little kitten right in his lane! It is at a 4-way stop with the freeway exit on one side and our HUGE sub (over 1,000 houses) on the other. It is a wonder the kitten hadn't been run over. He stopped and another car stopped too right next to the kitten so that it was no longer in danger of getting hit. Terry picked him up and he was shaking like a leaf and also panting - he was so hot - the poor baby!

What makes me mad is this is not a kitten who was born in the fields. He is fairly well-nourished, but the most telling feature is he has no fleas whatsoever and is also used to people. Some one dumped him!! Ithink someone from one of the neighbourhoods saw the couple of acres of land that line our sub and dumped him thinking he'd land up in someone's back yard, but instead he landed on a four lane entrance ramp to the busiest freeway in San Antonio!! GRRRRR!!

Anyway, initially both Terry and I agreed we could have no more cats! In fact we just spent $65 getting Drake neutered this weekend. Well, I saw the writing on the wall when Terry was reluctant to leave the little one and go to work. And when he named the kitten I knew he was not leaving this house again! It has taken him very little time to adjust - he spent the first day on a towel under my bathroom vanity but since then has taken over the house.

I took him to the vet last Friday and apart from a case of round worm (which is very common in kittens) he was given a clean bill of health. He was approximately 5 weeks old (as I had thought when I first saw him) but he is on the petitie side. Puma has now made himself a part of the family. Drake and he have become best buddies and are constantly play fighting with each other. I was concerned about bringing in another kitten, but he is no threat to the hierarchy already formed. However, I, the perennial cat lover am putting my foot down - this is positively the last cat we are getting!

Summer Days

2007-06-13T17:36:00.000-05:00

I thought summer was meant to be a time to relax, sleep in a bit, take it easy, take time to smell the roses as it were (although Terry bought me some last week that I have been smelling!) But since the first day of summer the kids and I have been on the go! I looked at my blog and realised that I hadn't posted anything in three weeks.

The girls have joined a swim team again this summer. We bought a family membership for a local neighbourhood association pool and they have a strong swim team. Every morning from 8:30 to 9:30 the girls train. They have had 2 meets so far and they are 2-0. Already the kids are turning blonde and my freckles have emerged in full force!

Terry and I were roped into going on the chidlren's church camp again. We went last fall and I suppose we must have done a good job of supervising the kids because we were asked to return. Coffee was my salvation from the sleepless nights (as you can see I am holding a cup here!)

Hayley participated in one of the 'electives' held, Butterfly Ballet. She loved it and it was great seeing her dance in front of 700 people. Terry as usual had a great time with the kids - being a big kid yourself I suppose helps.

The girls have swim practice for another month, and then I suppose we might be able to sleep in a little later than usual.

I have been very busy with freelance work. Just this afternoon I signed off on a 700 page manual I had been editing for a client. That was a great feeling - it was a lot of work and I know more about retirement communities than I think anyone should ever know! The local papers have also been keeping me busy and I have actually been given my own weekly business column for one of them. That is fun because I get to choose what business I want to showcase and interview the owner.

So, the Smelker Summer is shaping up very well - perfect weather, wonderful pool and long summer days - my favourite time of year.

Time Flies By

2007-05-24T17:26:00.000-05:00

When you're having fun! We returned from a wonderful vacation last week (I promise I will post photos on my .mac account as soon as I get a spare minute!)

This photo was taken on the monorail after a long day at the Magic Kingdom - you can tell it's been a busy day when the kids are zonked!

Our first day was spent at Typhoon Lagoon - we got the first shot of all 5 kids together in a long time!

I hit the ground running when we came back. I currently am about two-thirds of the way through editing a manual for a client, I have several articles to write for the papers I work for, and just returned from a trip to Dallas to visit the wonderful ladies at Surrogate Parenting Center of Texas. I have worked through their agency twice now. I first contacted them in January 2004 but have never met any of them. I spent one full day with the owner on a road trip as we drove to interview a prospective surrogate and I made an instant best friend!

Summer is just around the corner, and in fact the last day of school for the kids is tomorrow. Instead of buying season passes to Fiesta Texas as we have done in the past, we decided nothing can compare to Walt Disney World and instead chose to join a local sub-division pool. The girls will swim competitively again this summer, and Hayley will be able to join the District team and swim at a city-wide and hopefully soon, a regional level once more. This is the pool she'll be using next fall.

Oh, we also got "Little Red" a new (well new to us) car for Terry. We have had to share a car for the last 17 months; not that it is necessarily bad, but the busier I get with the freelance reporting, the more the need for a second car became apparent. Terry is now the proud owner of his first 'foreign' vehicle; a 2-door Honda Civic with sun-roof and 5-speed stick. We both love to drive it, and in fact I took it to Dallas this week. It's a zippy little thing with great gas mileage!

They're Paid For!!!

2007-04-27T09:16:00.000-05:00

On Monday morning I wrote the last check for Teagan's braces! That check cleared our account yesterday, so I can officially say that Teagan's teeth belong to us again.

Of course this is only stage one in a treatment series that will take several more years, and who knows how much more money. But when I look at the difference that a year makes I am amazed and absolutely sure that every penny we spent on these braces, the monthy visits, the daily battle to keep the headgear on, is worth it. Last April Teagan could not even close her mouth over her top teeth, and in fact the orthodontist was concerned that her top lip was shortening because it could not stretch the way it was meant to. Her teeth were affecting even her breathing patterns as a result. Today she can close her lips over her beautiful straight teeth.

In May or June her braces will be removed for approximately a year while her adult teeth grow in, and then we will move onto stage two.

Of course, just when we think we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we have Garrick following in her footsteps and I am sure we'll be going through the same saga with him!!

Here is a BEFORE Photo:

And here is a DURING Photo:

We Really Lucked Out!!

2007-04-21T21:20:00.000-05:00

Seven and a half years ago I decided that I wanted a kitten, so I went over to the Dearborn Animal Shelter, checked out about 20 kittens and came home with Serena. I picked her because she was fluffy and had an interesting coloration. At our first vet visit he commented that he thought she was almost pure Maine Coon Cat, a popular breed of cat that is known to be affectionate, friendly, placid, outgoing and an all-round good cat. Serena has proven to be just that.

Then a month ago we came home with Drake, thinking he was going to grow into a large ginger tom. Both Terry and I were interested to note that he was not so much striped as 'dotted', almost as though he was a wild cat, like an Ocelot. Yesterday I took him to the vet for his first round of shots, and my vet commented on the spots and said, "He looks like an Ocicat." Turns out the Ocicat resembles the Ocelot, but there is no 'wild' DNA in the Ocicat's gene pool. The species is actually a mixture of Siamese and Abyssinian cats, and is a new and still-rare breed of cat which has spots resembling a 'wild' cat and the temperament of a domestic animal, named for its resemblance to the ocelot.

I checked out a website that had photos of pure-bred Ocicat kittens. Here is one of their photos:

And here is one of Drake, taken just yesterday. Tell me that is not nearly a pure-bred??

The cool thing about this breed (and Drake must be at least half Ocicat) is that according to breeders they can be trained like dogs, and like dogs, they like to hang out with their people and are extremely social animals. I can't believe that we lucked out like this - two almost pure-bred cats for the fraction of the cost of buying one through a breeder!

Congratulations Cummins Family

2007-04-18T18:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a banner day for the Cummins family as they welcomed little Francis Jackson Cummins III into the world. He arrived at 12:53pm weighing a hefty 9lbs 7oz, and measuring 21.25 inches. He looks just like his big sister Imara, who in turn looks like her Daddy, Frank, and her maternal grandmother Mimi (Jean). Our kids got to see Francis for a short while last night, and hang out with a very tired Imara. Here is a photo of the two families (and the pediatrician) with the baby.

Back Row, from left to right: Terry, Garrick, Carson, Mimi (Jean), Laurie, Frank, Dr. Borland
Front Row, from left to right: Hayley, Imara, Warrick holding Francis, Cori and Teagan

The Countdown Is Almost Done

2007-04-14T22:34:00.000-05:00

The Smelker Seven are getting ready to go somewhere we haven't been in almost 9 years. And that somewhere is Walt Disney World, the Wonderful House of Mouse, and as far as Terry is concerned, the only place on earth to vacation.

According to the calendar we have upstairs in the game room we have 20 days until we pack up the conversion van and make the 16 hour drive to Florida. Thank God for a third driver (Warrick). The kids are excited although really the four little ones have nothing to compare it to; the last time we went Teagan was two and a half and Hayley only 11 months old. I was 7 months pregnant with Garrick and Carson was not even a glimmer in anyone's eye.

The vacation is already paid for, completely paid in cash so all we had to do was save for gas, food and souvenirs, and even that has been done. All that's left is to wait, patiently, (hard for Terry) and plan our days at the parks to maximize our time there.

Growin' Up

2007-04-10T18:17:00.000-05:00

Drake has been with us for almost a month now, and like a human baby we are amazed at his development! Of course a human baby would take a lot longer to get to the point he is now. We have completely weaned him, he sleeps downstairs with the other cats, instead of in a box in our room; and the funniest thing of all is that he chases poor Josh around the house. He is certainly ALL male!

Drake and Serena seem to have bonded pretty well. This is the first kitten she has actively liked - Chloe she tolerates.

Terry was playing with Drake and in mid-play he fell asleep!

Next Friday, the 20th he goes in for all his shots, and then I can set up an appointment for the 'big snip'. Terry and I believe very strongly in spaying and neutering pets, and we have done all of ours at the earliest opportunity. And with a male the earlier the better, otherwise he may start 'spraying' to mark his territory and there is no worse smell in the world.

Life Back To Normal

2007-03-28T20:40:00.000-06:00

Last week at this time, Warrick and I were driving home from Houston after picking up the girls from their long plane ride. Two days ago I was sent the last of the photos, which included their last day in England, and their final trip to London.

As is typical for those who travel, when you ask what they did, or what they saw, the girls intitially said almost nothing. It takes time to process memories and to think things through. So I am hearing more this week than I did last week.

This photo was taken in London:

And this one with Michael, their cousin, on their last day in the UK:

Kitties and their Owners

2007-03-22T20:37:00.000-06:00

Drake has now been with us for a week, and is getting litter boxed trained, but still is only on kitten formula although I have tried to introduce him to solid food. He licked some gravy off my finger the other day and that was major progress!

Yesterday while I was driving through to Houston to pick up the girls from their long plane ride, Terry put a movie on for the boys. The opening credits had some loud music and Drake immediately went into attack mode! As you can see, the fur on his back is completely raised, the ears are back and he's looking for the danger.

This evening as I was helping the kids put away laundry upstairs, Terry fed Drake. I came downstairs to find them both on the couch, and could not resist taking this great shot!

Drake - a 7-inch bundle that has the dog petrified!

2007-03-18T18:51:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago I had to visit our local vet to pick up some medicine for our one cat (who is getting surgery this week). While there I saw the receptionist feeding a tiny kitten. Apparently it was found abandoned at a local Vulcan Materials company, when he was about three days old. (I think the mother cat might have been trying to move him and lost him somehow.) The workers took him to the vet's office and that's where I first saw him. He was all of 10 or 11 days then.

Last Thursday Terry suggested I go and fetch him. We knew they were looking for a home for him, the receptionist had asked me if I wanted him; so they were most happy to hand him over with a can of kitten formula! He is about three and half or four weeks old, and still needs to be litter trained, and to be taught how to eat solid food. It really is like having an infant in the house again!

Joshua, our dog, was petrified of him! Today is the first time he has relaxed somewhat and follows the kitten around as he stumbles through the office. Serena, our 'senior' cat (she is almost eight) has warmed up a little, and will give him the occasional lick, but gets most indignant if he tries to nurse. Chloe has taken to hiding in the boy's room and hisses every time she sees me. Her nose is out of joint anyway because her girls are not here - she will feel much better about life when Teagan and Hayley return.

Here is the 'huge' kitten who's causing all this commotion!

Safari Park Antics

2007-03-15T21:23:00.000-06:00

So the girls have been having a blast since they arrived in Europe. They spent three days in Paris, one morning at a local elementary school, an afternoon at Bedford Oasis Pool, an indoor water playground. The piece de la resistance so far has been the day they spent with my brother and his wife Jenny and our nephew Michael at Woburn Safari Park.

Here you drive your car through the grounds and see lion, bears, zebras, hippos, giraffe and other wildlife in a fairly natural setting, but the best part (according to my girls) is when you get out of the car and get to interact with the monkeys and lemurs, wallabys and other small mammals. As you can see from the photos, great fun was had by all!

Teagan meets a monkey

Jenny and Michael with the lemurs

Hayley befriends a wallaby

Empty Nest?

2007-03-12T07:50:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday March 7th Teagan and Hayley flew into Gatwick Airport to spend two weeks with my parents.
This past weekend they took the Chunnel to Paris, for a visit of all the famous sites.

They will also tour parts of London, including a personal tour of The Houses of Parliament. They will spend some time in a local school and all in all just have a great time.

The girls are also getting to meet my side of the family for the first time. My sister in law, Jenny, took the girls along with her son Michael to a local Mickey D's where they enjoyed ice cream. As you can see, Michael loves his!

On Friday night, March 9th my mother-in-law, Star, drove in from Carrollton, to take the little boys to spend a week with her and Richard. On Saturday they spent some time at a PT Cruiser show. They have a busy week ahead of them as well.

This leaves the house empty all day until Terry and Warrick return in the evening from their respective jobs. I believe this is the first time in almost three years that we have had this amount of time away from the kids! Yesterday after church Terry and I went out for lunch and our bill was tiny in comparison to what it would normally be!

i guess in a way this is a harbinger of days yet to come when all the kids move out. Feels weird, but it was nice to have Terry all to myself again - even if it is just for a few days.

He's Seven Today!

2007-03-05T08:10:00.000-06:00

My 'baby' is seven today! Where does the time go? Nine short years before he starts driving, and wanting to chat up girls, and...

Carson was born early on a Sunday morning, the only one of our children not to arrive on a Wednesday. He was also my heaviest and longest child, weighing in at a respectable 8lbs 8 oz; and measuring 23 inches in length. Where he'd been hiding those extra inches is anyone's guess, because I carried 'small' with him - compared to some of my other pregnancies where I looked 9 months pregnant from 6 months on!

This morning he took his cupcakes to school, excited because although he has already had his party, he is officially seven today. Knowing him he will milk the birthday for all it's worth, telling the teacher he won't need to do work because it's his birthday.

Carson has come a long way. There are moments when I look at this child who cracks jokes, reads "Calvin & Hobbes", plays with Star Wars toys and loves the movie "Cars" and I am in awe of what he has become. From a diagnosis of autism to this...I am forever grateful to God for the miracle He brought about in Carson's life.

13 Years Ago Today...

2007-02-26T17:06:00.000-06:00

Terry and I said, "I Do". The day was sunny, but freezing (well in reality it was below freezing being only 26 degrees) but we weren't about to allow a HUGE snowstorm from the day before and the subsequent non-arrival of some guests who were meant to fly in from Chicago spoil our day! I was excited, not nervous, and ready to start my life as Mrs. Terry Smelker. We decided to get married at a church Terry used to attend - Woodlawn Church of God, and I wish I had a better photo of it, this one doesn't do it justice!

After a brief honeymoon we settled into a two-bedroom apartment in Dearborn, one that for the next 18 months we were destined to call home.

We have moved many times since then, but that doesn't matter - where Terry and my kids are is where I belong. I love you honey - may the next 13 years be as exciting and wonderful (although with less births!)

How Did It Happen So Fast?

2007-02-21T12:12:00.000-06:00

Eleven years ago, at 12:10pm (Eastern Time), on her due date, Teagan Faye Smelker made her appearance into the world. The smallest of all my babies, she weighed in at a tiny 7lbs, and was 21 inches long. Personally I think 2 of those inches was her hair - the girl was born with a shock of black, mohawk-like hair.

Today Teagan happily went off to school - to her final year in elementary school. As I woke her up this morning I reflected that it really does seem like yesterday that I called her Dad at work and told him to come home because it was time. I can clearly picture the moment she 'captured his heart.' The nurses gave Teagan to Terry first, and as she lay quietly in his arms, he tentatively touched her with one finger. She reached out with one hand, grasped his finger firmly and opened her impossibly blue eyes and stared right into his. She has had his heart ever since.

Teagan is our ray of sunshine - bubbly, happy-go-lucky and outgoing. Her smile is contagious, and her big eyes see the world through the wonder of an almost teenager.

We love you Teagan - you have brought your own unique personality and spirit into the Smelker family.

Valentine's Hoopla

2007-02-14T13:30:00.000-06:00

Personally, I think Valentine's Day is a ploy by card manufacturers to make some money because Christmas is gone and the next 'big' holiday is not until Mother's Day! And the sad thing most people don't know who Valentine was, or why the day is celebrated. I have to wonder if those who don't follow Christianity knew it was a day held in memory of a man who died as a Christian martyr whether they would be swapping cards, chocolates and roses?

Some of my single friends, and those in College (and high school) lament that they don't have a 'significant other' to share this day with; and many high schoolers dread going to school because what if they don't have flowers? (Remember those days when people would count how many flowers you had, and you JUST knew that was the ONLY way to rate your popularity?) I hear of parents sending flowers to school in case their child doesn't receive any from school mates.

For two consecutive years when I was in high school I was on the 'flower committee'. The headmaster of our school, Peter Nixon, was a compassionate man. He called us into his office and asked how many students weren't going to receive flowers, and then he pulled the money out of his pocket and said, "Buy each one of those students a flower. I don't want anyone to feel left out on Valentine's Day." I have never heard of a principal of a school doing something like that before or since, and both years it was a substantial amount of money he laid out.

My school has since closed down, and Peter Nixon lives in Australia; but to my mind he depicts all that is good about Valentine's Day.

Survivor - A New Season Begins

2007-02-04T22:54:00.000-06:00

Well with a new season of Survivor about to start, ideas have been pitched left and right for future shows. Here is one idea pitched for Texas, called, aptly enough, Survivor: Texas Style.

The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo
with bumper stickers that read: "I'm Gay," "I Love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for John Kerry," "George Strait Stinks," "Hillary in 2008" and "I'm here to confiscate your guns."

Any takers??

Wedding Songs Part Deux...

2007-01-27T21:13:00.000-06:00

Terry was kind enough to play with Quick Time and the song I mentioned in my previous blog. He created a Quick Time movie that is resident on his blog.

Here is the link, please enjoy, with my compliments, "When Loving Lovers Love". Feel free to hang yourself afterwards!!

When Loving Lovers Love Clip

Wedding Songs

2007-01-23T16:10:00.002-06:00

Like many couples, Terry and I have a song that we consider uniquely 'ours'. Never one to buck a tradition, ours is a Disney song! A Whole New World from the movie "Aladdin" was played at our wedding and I can still close my eyes and visualise that memorable day.

But, times change, as do tastes, and so we have, in a way, moved on. One of our favourite TV series (which alas is no longer televised) is Mystery Science Theater 3000. Let me explain for those neophytes among you - MSTK3 takes bad movies and through the dialogue of three characters (two of whom are robots) completely tear the movie to bits. They intersperse this with riffs, and the following song comes from one of our favourite episides, Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.

So, without further ado, please enjoy the lyrics of 'our' song!

When Loving Lovers Love
Sung by: Pearl Forrester and Observer (Brain Guy)

When Loving Lovers Love
Their loving love on wings of golden
loving love we fly above
Their love is such a soft and precious love-
It’s love
A lovely love is all we seem
to need when we’re in loving love—

But then- it’s gone
It is nothing but a memory (memory)
Memory (memory)

And then it’s back
And loving lovers love again
Who knows where it flies
The lustrous love must rise
Into the endless skies
A new day shining bright
Your heart has wings to fly
And no one else can fly
I really can’t say why
I really do like pie
I… know a couple guys
--They really do like pie
(together) And loving lovers love as loving lovers love
Golden,
Shimmering,
Lustrous,
Lovely,
Loving, loving love

P.S. Just in case you couldn't tell - this is all tongue in cheek! This is NOT our new favourite song, but it makes us laugh as it parodies every romance song ever written!

Wonderful Sunday Preaching

2007-01-21T17:26:00.000-06:00

Terry and I are priviledged to attend a church with incredible teaching, caring pastors and a group of people as diverse as the city from which they come! Part of the reason I love to come to the church is because of the sheer number of South Africans and the best part is that sometimes Pastor Theo invites special guests. Today he invited Allan Bagg, pastor of one of the 'plant' churches that Pastor Theo has founded. It is inspiring to hear the Word taught with such authority and with a fresh perspective. I teased Pastor Allan after the service that he gave Pastor Theo a run for his money with the sheer depth of his teaching.

Tomorrow night Pastor Theo has organised for the leader of the African Democratic Christian Party, Dr. Kenneth Rasalabe Joseph Meshoe. We are looking forward to hearing him! Pastor Theo has known this man for over 20 years and is impressed with his stance for Christianity while working in parliment.

In Memory Of...

2007-01-12T07:31:00.000-06:00

my aunt, Iris Matthews, nee Lennon. She passed away yesterday, January 11th 2007. She will be sorely missed by my Uncle Tom, my two cousins Denise and David, their spouses and her grandchildren.

My Aunt Iris loomed large in my life which is funny seeing that for 32 years of my life I lived over 6,000 miles away from her, first in South Africa and then the United States. When someone mentions the word 'lady' my Aunt always came to mind. A small, black-haired, blue-eyed Welsh woman, my Aunt was the epitome of a true British lady. She was unfailingly kind, and seemed to live with the mantra that if you couldn't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. She always put others before herself, and her door was always open to family and friends.

Aunt Iris had struggled with her health for many years. Rheumatoid Arthritis had robbed her of mobility and every day was a fight against it. My uncle Tom converted one of their closets into a walk-in shower for her as getitng in and out of a bath was a sheer impossibility. She was on strong steroids to help contain the pain and to give some range of movement.

In December she was diagnosed with cancer and started chemo. Her body reacted to the chemo and she rapidly went downhill. Doctors think the years of drugs for the arthritis had scarred her lungs so badly that she was unable to handle the chemo as well as the surgery she had undergone to remove the cancer.

Her 72nd birthday was coming up on February 6th, and it will be strange not calling her on her birthday, or any other time. It is weird to know there are no more letters coming from her; or cards for the kids with £5 enclosed for me to buy them a toy, or something 'for their stocking'.

Rest in Peace Aunt Iris. I will see you on the other side soon enough!

Putting Money to Work

2007-01-11T07:42:00.000-06:00

Several months ago Terry and I bought a book called "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. This book has single-handedly changed the way we look at and work with our money!

I know that ultimately you can read a million books on a subject and agree with everything written, but then never implement any of the steps that a book recommends. I understand that a book alone is not responsible for any changes that we, or anyone, brings into their lives, but this book is what really catapaulted us into changing the way we see our money.

Like many young couples (I think we qualify as a young couple!) we have responsibilities with our five kids, a car payment, house payment yada yada...so for us it seemed impossible to do more than live pay check to pay check. It appeared that as soon as we got some extra money something would come along and take the money from us! Car repairs, Dentist bills, or something else. The "Total Money Makeover" book gives very common-sense, practical ideas on how to (a) increase income and (b) reduce debt and (c) save an emergency fund and beyond. It means our family has to make some changes this year, but we plan on being one of the minority who don't live pay check to pay check any longer! According to stats, approximately 70% of American families do live pay check to pay check. We are no longer letting our money dictate our lifestyle, but putting our money to work for us.

One other book we're looking at getting is "48 Days To The Work You Love". We'll keep you posted on what it's like!

We Have A Tiger In The House

2007-01-09T15:50:00.000-06:00

Back in 1993 Terry introduced me to what I think are some of the best cartoon strips since "Peanuts" and that is the genius of Watterson's character Calvin and his sidekick Hobbes. Initially Warrick fell in love with Calvin & Hobbes and read all of the books that we bought or borrowed. Then for a while I was the only one who really read the books.

However about 6 months ago the younger 4 kids discovered the wonders of Calvin and his tiger, Hobbes and since then the comic books have become even more dog-eared, and I ordered some new ones when the elementary school held one of their fundraisers. Just last week at the library I found a 600-page hardcover copy of several of the books compiled into one copy. I have to admit to sitting on the couch for 2 hours last night reading cartoons that are brand-new to me. And the kids all fight about whose turn it is to read the book next - gotta love something that will get the kids reading.

I understand why Watterson stopped drawing his cartoons, all good things must come to an end; but he really did capture the essence of a six-year old boy and his imagination.

If I was a poet I would write an ode to Watterson, but seeing I am not, I will just give my heartfelt thanks for bringing so many hours of entertainment into the Smelker household.

They Call It Puppy Love

2007-01-07T20:11:00.000-06:00

Just a couple of photos of my dog and one cat - a love-love relationship

And tonight, Dad and Teagan decided to enjoy some time on the floor together - it was not long before Josh and Serena decided they needed company!

So A New Year Begins!

2007-01-01T18:46:00.000-06:00

The Smelker family went 'South African' last night as we spent the evening with about 30 other South Africans, although there was the odd American dotted here and there - just as a reminder that we still live in the U.S. of A. Food was plentiful, laughter abounded and the kids went wild. Interspersed with English were conversations held in Afrikaans, although if a non-Afrikaans speaker joined the group, we would switch to English. Strangers became friends in one night as we swopped stories of growing up in Africa, and quite a few of us realised that we had grown up within a couple of miles of each other. And in some cases had even visited the same hang-outs - like the waterfall pictured here.

It was wonderful to feel connected to both my American family, and my extended South African one - to bring the two worlds together and have them merge in harmony. In fact it was so great, we're all getting together at the end of the month for a birthday celebration as two or three of our friends celebrate their birthdays!

As they say in Afrikaans - 'Gelukkige Neuwe Jaar, en al die beste vir 2007!' or, "Happy New Year, and all the best for 2007!"

Christmas is Done - New Year Here We Come!

2006-12-28T20:28:00.000-06:00

The last of the gifts have been taken from under the tree, which now lies bare (except for the cats who think the tree is their personal resting place) and next week Tuesday the decorations come down, and packed away for another year.

This is always a weird time of year for me. Being self-employed if I don't work I don't make money, but the kids are home and it is so easy to stay in holiday mode and mood; but I have actually done some paying work this week, and will reap the benefits to that in January.

One thing I appreciate so much about being here in San Antonio is the sheer number of South Africans that surround me, mostly from church, but there are several couples who don't attend our church, or don't go to church at all and they live close by. To that end, one of my friends, Liana and her American husband are having a 'South African' get-together at their house on New Year's Eve. It is a family event and I am sure there will be a 'braaivleis' (barbeque) and biltong (jerky) and each family was asked to bring a dish to pass. I am making something called 'Melktert', literally milk pie, which is a mixture between a custard pie and a milk pie and liberally sprinkled with cinnamon. Tastes yummy!

I am also thinking of making sosaties. Sosaties are similar to kebabs: skewers of meat (venison, lamb or chicken) interspersed with onions and dried fruit (such as apricots) and marinated in a thick, sweet curry sauce. Sosaties are sensational hot off a braai as the marinade browns and becomes wonderfully tacky. Sticky sauce from ear to ear is testament to a good sosatie!

So, whatever your plans - whether solidly American, British, South African, or a hybrid of all - have a wonderful New Year's Eve!

Gifts are Wrapped

2006-12-24T18:49:00.000-06:00

And under the tree - supplies have been bought for the stockings, and the only thing left to do is assemble the trampoline, once the kids have gone to bed. Speaking of the kids - there is an air of excitement, I was going to say, repressed excitement, but that is not true - there is nothing repressed about their excitement right now!

It has been a wet day, but the rain has lifted and hopefully tomorrow will dawn bright and sunny.

From the Smelkers to you - have a Merry Christmas!

All I Want For Christmas...

2006-12-22T07:57:00.000-06:00

Is peace and quiet! Of course I understand that every Joe Shmoe is out after work picking up the latest gagdet, but do they have to be so aggressive on the road? One little Honda sports-car wanna-be was on the freeway last night and zipped between an almost non-existent gap to cut in front of me. I guess going 65 miles an hour in a 65 mile an hour zone when the traffic cops are all around is just not fast enough, eh? Thirty seconds later he zipped back into the 'slow' lane and then proceeded to take to the shoulder to overtake some truck! Where's a cop when you need one?

I have to say for the most part, people have been very patient, even though we can sit in traffic for 10 minutes at one traffic light; and wait in check out lines for an eternity. So perhaps the Christmas spirit is not dead after all. But I am happy to say that last night was the last time I had to venture out for gifts. Next time I go will be for groceries - and hopefully AFTER Christmas!

Corban - Rest In Peace

2006-12-22T07:53:00.000-06:00

Almost every Sunday morning since January of this year, I have looked after a 'special needs' child named Corban. Corban was unable to speak or move without assistance, but his lovely green eyes would track my movements and when I talked to him he would still himself, and listen.

This Sunday morning Corban was not in church - an unusual occurance and tragically in the afternoon, Corban passed away.

Timothy Corban Swan went to be with the Lord on December 17, 2006. Born in San Antonio on September 18, 1994, his interests denied his limitations: swimming, reading, music and long walks with his dog Boaz. He is missed by his parents Annie and Tim Swan, his sister Courtney, his grandparents Margaret Forbes and Ray and Helen Schumacher of Kansas City and a long list of aunts, uncles, cousins and dear friends. Corban was blessed by an extended family who provided him further loving care: Pilar, Cirenia, Marisol, Alicia, Jane, Irma, Georgeanne, Debbie, Lulu, Mrs. Rogers, Mr. Deemer, Ms. Suggs, Ms. McDonald, Dr. Hall, Dr. Pfeiffer and Dr. Amen.

In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be sent to The Christian Family Church Children's Building Fund, 15600 San Pedro Suite 400, San Antonio, Texas 78232. You are invited to sign The guestbook at www.porterloring.com Arrangements with Porter Loring Mortuary.

I'll miss you Corban - rest in peace honey.

An Adult Night Out

2006-12-04T10:41:00.000-06:00

Once a year, Newtek, the company for whom Terry works, puts on a Christmas party and every year is better than the last! This year the party was held at the Alamo Convention Center in a spacious area called "The Grotto', a ground room floor that opens right onto the River Walk. This part of the river is extremely peaceful, and it was wonderful to sit outside and enjoy the splash of waterfalls, and the jazzy sounds of a sax player in the background.

"Come As Your Cool Self" was the eventual 'theme' of the party, although initially it was touted as a formal event so I went and bought a formal outfit for the night. However, there was a real mix of style and theme on the actual night, and plenty of the staff and spouses did actually dress up for the evening.

Earlier on in the day, the company had hosted a children's Christmas party, so the evening was an adults-only event. It is good to get out there and just converse with other adults without having to constantly monitor kids.

I know as the month progresses each one of us will get busy, so I want to take a moment now to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and pray that everyone gets the chance to reflect on why we do the things we do this month!

So - ALL men are dangerous??

2006-11-27T08:48:00.000-06:00

I am an avid reader of Fox News online. I think they are probably the most balanced news station right now. At least they are not scared to hire democrats as writers and are willing to express dissenting opinions! Last week an article was posted that gave me pause to think:

Segregating Children from Men

If this is indeed the case, all fathers are under attack! As Boris Johnson (a Member of Parliment in the United Kingdom) explains in his blog, this is getting beyond the joke. I can do no better than to quote the man himself:

At which the stewardess gave a gentle cough. Actually, she said, she was proposing to move me to row 52, and that was because — she lowered her voice — "We have very strict rules".

Eh? I said, by now baffled. "A man cannot sit with children," she said; and then I finally twigged. "But he's our FATHER", chimed the children. "Oh," said the stewardess, and then eyed me narrowly. "These are your children?" "Yes," I said, a bit testily. "Very sorry," she said, and wafted down the aisle — and in that single lunatic exchange you will see just about everything you need to know about our dementedly phobic and risk-averse society. In the institutionalised prejudice of that BA stewardess against an adult male, you see one of the prime causes of this country's tragic under-achievement in schools.

I mention all this because the same absurd kerfuffle happened this week. Some child was put next to an ancient journalist and his wife on a flight, and the airline (BA again) went into spasm. As the hoo-ha raged, the press turned to the lobby groups, and someone called Pam Hibbert of Barnardo's obliged with the usual bossyboots quote. The ban on sitting children next to adults was "eminently sensible", said this eminently ridiculous figure.

I mean, come off it, folks. How many paedophiles can there be? Are we really saying that any time an adult male finds himself sitting next to someone under 16, he must expect to be hustled from his seat before the suspicious eyes of the entire cabin?

What about adult females? Every week there is some new tale of what a saucy French mistress is deemed to have done with her adolescent charges behind the bicycle sheds; and, disgraceful though these episodes may be, I don't hear anyone saying that children should be shielded from adult women. Do you? Or maybe I'm wrong — maybe all adults will have to carry personal cardboard partitions with them on every plane or train, just in case they find themselves sitting next to under-16s."

So, next year when our family plans on flying to our vacation destination, does that mean Terry can't sit next to the kids? Hey! No Fair! I am not looking after all of them by myself! He gets a free ride while I face down the dirty looks sent to all parents who dare disturb the precious peace of passengers around them because I, inconsiderate mom that I am, choose to bring my children on the plane. Nope - he's gonna sit between the kids, just the same as me, and threaten, cajole and blackmail them into silence!

Ok, a little tongue in cheek there, but this is a dangerous trend and only looks like it is getting worse. And Boris has a valid point - what about the growing number of woman predators? He mentioned the ones in the UK, but here the USA we have seen our share - Debra Lafave is a case in point. There have been others in recent months, but no one stops adult women from sitting next to kids.

I am all for prosecuting paedophiles - actually I am all for cutting pertinent bits off them, or locking them up and throwing away the key; but aren't people presumed innocent until found guilty? And isn't it wrong for us to assume that just because a male is just that, a male, he must therefore be a paedophile?

All I know is, when we get on the plane next year, my husband will be seated with his children - where he belongs!

A Fun Time Had By All

2006-11-17T09:48:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the First Grader's from Longs Creek Elementary took a field trip to a local children's theatre, The Magik Theatre. The current play is "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" - a creative look at the town 'Chew and Swallow' where there is a high probability of a tomato tornado, a cheeseburger thunderstorm and a spaghetti snowstorm. The kids loved it, and there were jokes for the adults as well.

Afterwards the kids played under the Hemisfair Tower, Hemisfair Park on this completely amazing play structure that is open to the public. We have lived here for 3 years and haven't yet made it over to this park. Now I think we will have to make the effort more often!

After picking the kids up from school we ventured down to the local branch of the public library, where the kids were excited to pick out books; then we crossed the parking lot to enjoy the public park located on the library grounds. Because the library is located so close to the school the kids had plenty of playmates already on the playground.

So, the days might be getting shorter, it might be cooling off slightly - we started the day at a chilly 38 (but it went to 74) we are still getting out there and having fun!